It’s not your fault you’re single this Valentines
It’s not your fault you’re single this valentines. It’s not anyone’s fault – it’s society’s!
What do you do when you come to a point in your life when you would like a serious and healthy relationship, leaving your commitment issues behind?
With the male species I have had the same Karma as if I was a dictator in a past life. In fact Hitler himself could hold down a better relationship than me. Although dating in this generation is extremely difficult and generally unromantic.
It seems that relationships form when individuals are intoxicated with some Dutch courage “in da club” or some other social establishment. The only way you can let someone know that you find him or her attractive is at least kissing. Apparently.
Feminism has come a long way. It’s fantastic, women have more opportunities and there is a powerful community, which believes that there are still issues that need to be addressed.
However, back in the day there was a sexist system within dating that was very simple but effective. Men would approach women, men would pay for the date and it was usually clear when you were in a relationship. People are now so afraid of labels that asking someone to transition from “ting” to “thing” would trigger a cardiac arrest, probably caused by all the alcohol they’ve consumed through attempts of courtship.
This “Twilight Zone” in dating is an awkwardness between sexism and feminism. There is still the stereotype of what being a gentleman supposedly is but it’s in conflict with equal rights. On a date if the man thinks that he should pay for the first drink then that’s fine, but then there should be another round and the girl should pay for it. If you go out for a meal the bill should be split or the girl should try and pay for some of it, the drinks for example, or reciprocate on the next date.
It’s expensive and not fair to expect men to pay for everything, just on a basic economic level.
The shift in equality has affected dating in that men don’t believe that it is their responsibility to approach women anymore but women haven’t accepted it as theirs. There is a distribution of responsibility in which no one approaches anyone, which means no spontaneous dates or conversations with strangers where you could realise that you actually have a lot in common with someone.
It is an impossible task to actually get on a first date in the real world through sober means, without having to resort to things like Tinder and there are better ‘first meeting’ stories to tell your family at the engagement party, “it said ‘just got out of jail, looking for a shag’ in his profile and I knew.”
My most recent sober stranger who approached me was on a coach and lets just say he wasn’t my type. He sat next to me even though there were PLENTY OF OTHER SEATS.
You think you’re safe and with nothing to worry about with headphones in, the universal sign of “fuck off.” Wrong. He started talking and his English wasn’t that great but from what I understood he wanted to open his own business, a takeaway restaurant. He told me that he was getting married next year, I felt very relieved.
Me: “Oh you’re engaged?”
Him: “No, I’m looking for a wife.”
It’s getting to a point where I have started to think maybe we should just marry these random men. They seems to think we should be together, maybe as a female race we’ve been too picky and the man that chased after you for your number last year was the love of your life.
Fight this inner pessimist and don’t drop out of university to run a takeaway service yet, but don’t rule it out because samosas are delicious!
In summary, it’s unbelievably hard to start a relationship in 2017 and it’s difficult to have the confidence to approach people. This Valentines I call for a change! It’s a bullshit holiday but I encourage everyone to challenge this twilight zone and go and ask out that cute boy in your lecture.
Or just start collecting dogs and die alone… I know I haven’t decided yet!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I hope I’m married
When I’m thirty-two
And a house
And a good job.