The weather in Selly Oak on Monday is proof that God hates Donald Trump
Why else would it rain that much?
Conor DeeryI’m sure that everybody noticed the abhorrent weather we suffered in Birmingham on Monday – personally I didn’t know whether to leave the house in boots or a canoe. UKIP Councillor David Silvestre once blamed weather conditions on the legislation of gay marriage. Is it such a stretch to believe that this weather is just a coincidence? Don’t be ridiculous! It must be because of Trump’s election.
His right-wing nationalism and dodgy attitudes towards Muslims, Mexicans and women have pissed everyone off, clearly including God, who has since brought this plague down upon us. If Hilary had been elected, I’m sure it would have all been rainbows and sunshine, with cherubs on every street corner singing.
It’s his fault and he knows it
What is the contrary evidence? The Met Office will probably try to argue that the bat-shit-insane rainstorm was caused by some weather system in the Atlantic. However, this is nonsense, as we all know that God controls the weather and dictates it at his behest when filled with disdain for human decision. And what human decision could be worse than electing Donald Trump?
Applications to join The Birmingham Tab’s editorial team are now OPEN
Madelaine DowdsWe’re looking for our next Editor in Chief, News Editor, Features Editor and Social Media Editor
Birmingham student police officer harassed ex-partner on social media over five months
Francesca EkePC Price committed gross conduct and would’ve been dismissed from the force had he not already resigned
Two men sentenced to life in prison for murder of Cody Fisher in Birmingham nightclub
Remy Gordon and Kami Carpenter were sentenced to 26 and 25 years respectively at Birmingham Crown Court today
A Brum student’s guide to staying friends with your first year flatmates throughout uni
Amelie PymYou could all be friends if you actually took the bins out for once
The ultimate guide to Uni of Birmingham study spots so you can finally get that diss done
Angel LawsonIf you voluntarily sit in Muirhead, get some therapy asap
I took one for the team and went to the Snobs closing party so you didn’t have to
Victoria HopeRip OG Snobs, you’re dearly missed
University of Birmingham to implement new mandatory uniform next academic year
Jennifer LangmanThis will make UoB the first UK university to have a uniform
These are Birmingham students’ official ins and outs for 2024
Isabella RicklowAccording to Kylie Jenner, 2024 is essentially the year of ‘realising things’
Here’s everything going on in Brum worth knowing about for St Patrick’s Day 2024
Meg WilliamsGet your best Irish jig on, St Paddy’s Day is nearly here
Five lies we were told as Brum freshers and why you shouldn’t believe them
From two silly freshers who believed the second years
Estella Gettins
Seven things only ‘LANS’ students can relate to at University of Birmingham
Natasha RachelNot to sound like a pick me, but LANS girls are *truly* not like the other girls
Beyond the books: Brum’s best extracurricular activities based on your degree
The hot girl walk around Aldi middle aisle is not hitting like it used to
I’m an international student in Birmingham, these are my five biggest culture shocks
Savannah GranthamMove to the UK they said, it will be fun they said
University of Birmingham called ‘ignorant’ after confusing Sikhs and Muslims in online post
Kylie ClarkeThe university has since apologised for its comment on an Instagram post
Boss of PRYZM blames students not going out as much for club closures
Bella FatherleyRekom has closed 17 venues across the country
Valentine’s who? We asked Birmingham students for their worst date blunders
In honour of the girls begging their situationship for a date
The ultimate student guide to a successful Galentine’s Day in Birmingham
Twenty twenty FOUR the girls
Birmingham Pryzm is closing down with ‘immediate effect’ after company went bust
The closure is due to effects from the cost of living crisis
Lauren reveals the ‘spicy’ parts of her MAFS Australia final vows that were cut from show
Ellie RingJono should be thankful these weren’t aired
24 years after it first came out, what is the iconic cast of Gilmore Girls up to now?
Give me another reunion asap please
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Emily SmithFilling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Phoebe Kowhai
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Jono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’
Hi Barbie! Meet the student who has written her entire dissertation on the Barbie movie
Not her supervisor’s name being Ken!
Holidays and moving in together: Inside Tom and Molly’s adorable post Love Island life
They’re actually too wholesome
Baby Reindeer’s Jessica Gunning has spoken out about people trying to find the real Martha
‘I think it’s a real, real shame, because it shows that they haven’t watched the show properly’
‘Taylor Swift pub’ The Black Dog staff have spoken out about chaotic week mobbed by Swifties
‘We’ve got a Swift half pint on the menu, which people can get for free if they sing a Taylor lyric’
Kim Kardashian is ‘over’ Taylor Swift feud and ‘thinks Taylor should move on’ after new song
Taylor’s new album features a song called ‘thanK you aIMee’ which is believed to be a massive dig at Kim
From tattoos to moving in together: What are Tori and Jack up to after MAFS Australia 2024?
They’re in their own little bubble
More lies Jack from MAFS Australia has been telling his ex have surfaced and it’s chaos
‘He’s only staying with Tori because he’s backed into a corner’
Ben slams Ellie for being ‘vindictive’ on MAFS and claims she’s with Jono for ‘publicity’
‘She always played the victim’
Cast member Ben claims MAFS Australia 2024 producers mocked and ‘criticised’ his ADHD
‘I didn’t sign up to be taken advantage of through my mental health’
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
I can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish