I tried living as a vegan on £5 for a week

Let’s face it: being a vegan at uni can be pretty demanding at the best of times. So I decided that obviously it would be even more fun to try and do it on a fiver for the week.

There’s more to veganism than just being a more militant vegetarian: it means you can’t wear leather, can’t eat any animal produce that has come from an animal and forces you to adopt a strong sense of moral superiority.

If the reasons behind going vegan remain varied and unconvincing, one thing is for sure: his diet is demanding and expensive in equal measure.

In the run up to this week I was genuinely worried I was going to a) have no idea what to eat and b) turn into someone who looks down their nose at the murderous meat-eating society.

Day One

I approached day one in high spirits. I went to the library to start some dissertation work but quickly realised my classic library snacks were now a no-go. No big bar of Galaxy or milkshake. Instead I settled for the underrated pistachio.

£1, for a big bag of pistachios, at least I’m not a meat murderer

I did get a few bad looks from people as I tried to crunch open the shells – a task that sometimes is very demanding for very little reward. I miss my milkshake…

Day Two

Well, it would seem trying to rely on just a bag of pistachio’s for the first day was probably not enough food. I’m so hungry, and while eating the few remaining nuts I consider what my main meal will be today.

A short stroll to Tesco’s and I’ve decided to go for the ultimate vegan food: a plain boring salad with no cheese, no meat and no flavour.

mmmm, delicious…

As I sat in the front room eating maybe the grimmest salad ever my flat mate walked in with a magnificent smelling beef casserole made in a slow cooker. He pulled the meat apart in front of me, so tender, so succulent but also so murderous.

I tried giving him a vegan rant about how this particular dead cow is single handedly responsible for climate change and war in the middle east, but I wasn’t quite at that level yet.

Day Three

I’ve hit a low point. My morning coffee was nice, but lacked milk. I had toast for breakfast and for the third day in a row it was dry and butter-less. One of the hardest parts about being vegan is giving up dairy.

I was offered a pack of Walkers Prawn cocktail by a friend and as I checked the back of the pack the words “whey” and “milk powder” killed my dream.

A bloody crisp contains milk.

Guess I’ll have an Alpen bar instead and go and cry my hunger to sleep.

Day Four

It was a bit of a grey day today and in the cold I really fancied a simple soup. But hopes of a nice carrot and coriander or minestrone blend were quickly dashed because of the cream.

There are so many food types we take for granted that poor, snooty vegans just can’t have. It’s like fighting a war of attrition.

This looks anything but “wholesome and tasty”

Day Five

OH MY GOD. How have I made it to the last day of the week and not realised that pasta is vegan. This changes absolutely everything and for once I won’t be going to bed hungry.

Just a shame it’s the end of the challenge now.

69p of spicy tomato-ey deliciousness

The week is over, and it was far from enjoyable. The amount of times I had to turn down chocolate or other snacks from kind friends was demoralising. Every time someone asked “fancy getting some food” I’d have to respond “Is it somewhere vegan for under a quid?”.

After this experiment I’ve developed a new-found respect for vegans. It’s not an easy diet, and I think vegans become hollier than thou eco-snobs as some kind of twisted compensation for the self-inflicted plight.

But I still have problems with vegans who decide to completely cut out meat and animal produce, then go and buy soya “bacon”, or vegetarian “sausages”.

Silly vegans.