Ranking the MAFS UK 2024 cast based purely on the vibes of their first pictures

One thing’s for sure: They all look capable of bringing the drama

2 weeks ago

Nothing brings me more joy than seeing a brand new Married at First Sight UK cast announced for 2024, and wondering how dirty the MAFS photographer actually did them with their promo pictures. This is our first glimpse at the bunch of brides and grooms who are going to fill our autumn with such unprecedented chaos and drama that we will remember them for the rest of our lives. So the photographer naturally did the most boring shoot on earth! Of course. Much to discuss, though – so here’s my ranking of the MAFS UK 2024.

16. Caspar

via Channel 4

Extremely posh gap yah vibes that I know I would find intolerable after a maximum of 10 seconds. I can hear this image telling me about a trust fund.

15. Kieran

via Channel 4

No disrespect to Kieran but it’s all a bit too well groomed. The same energy as a slightly untrustworthy salesman.

14. Alex

via Channel 4

I’m sorry, it’s the ring. Just garish. Just gaudy. If a ring is making more of an impression on me than your entire photograph we do have a slight problem.

13. Nathan

Looks too much like an AI generated image for my liking. Can’t imagine him in motion. Not sure if I want to break the illusion.

12. Sacha

via Channel 4

The vibe I get from Sacha and this image is that she did not want these photos taken and that she does not like me. I feel like I’ve annoyed her just by looking at the picture. I’m sorry! But she is of course, clearly a bit of an iconic diva who looks like she’s goint to wreak havoc on this season. I’m ready.

11. Adam

via Channel 4

Looks like one of those blokes I’d bump into accidentally by the urinals and fear for my life that he was going to batter me, only for us to become best mates for the night and chat shite in the smoking area. Kind of into it.

10. Orson

via Channel 4

Extremely warm face. I want to open up to him and share secrets. Trustworthy. Applaud any man who goes for it and gets the red suit on when everyone else picks a boring option.

9. Kristina

via Channel 4

Love the dress, love her smile, love her energy. Seems super sweet. Job well done.

8. Holly

via Channel 4

Holly looks like she couldn’t upset you if she tried. You just want to chill with her.

7. Ross

via Channel 4

My fave of all the men. Love the blasé approach to the bow tie. My kinda guy. Won the IDGAF Awards even on his wedding day.

6. Richelle

via Channel 4

Ranking the MAFS UK 2024 diva so high because she haad the audacity to serve so hards with those dramatic sleeves. We’re cooking with gas now, people.

5. Lacey

via Channel 4

Getting pictured looking like a movie star OR like you’ve just had your makeover after making it into The X Factor finalists is iconic indeed.

4. Emma

via Channel 4

Oh mother has really arrived. Imagine a night on the pinot with this diva. No stone unturned. Queening out together is not a want but simply a need.

3. Polly

via Channel 4

I’d come out to her.

2. Charlie

via Channel 4

Kind of obsessed with the good vibes that radiate from this image. She looks unreal and just like such a nice person? She’s not even said anything to me and yet it feels like we’re mates. Whoever she walks down the aisle to meet will be blessed.

1. Eve

via Channel 4

A suited and booted legend. Had to get Eve at the top of my MAFS UK 2024 first impressions ranking purely for the fact she’s exactly the type of person I’d be making a beeline to befriend at any club. I think we’d have a scream. Can’t wait to get to know her better!

I need to get obsessed with them all IMMEDIATELY.

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