new years eve

What your New Year’s Eve motive says about your overall vibe

Welcome to the most uniquely stressful night out of the year

New Year’s Eve is undeniably the most stressful night out of the year. Ubers are (minimum) on a 5x surge, fake tan is splattered all over your bed sheets, sequins are in places they shouldn’t be and no one can seem to figure out the optimum time to start drinking in order to avoid peaking too early.

Nevertheless, as tradition states: We. Will. Have. Fun. And the type of fun you choose to have as the clock strikes twelve says a lot about your overall vibe. So, if you’re interested in what personality era you’re at risk of carrying over into 2023, this is what your New Year’s Eve motive says about you:

Recklessly minimal effort hosting

Let’s be honest, you procrastinated organising anything this year because in the depths of your soul you know you’d rather be doing nothing. But FOMO has such a grip on you that your 2022 could never end with a bottle of Prosecco and your duvet. So, instead, you’ve invited over anyone else you can recruit for a chill one.

Rack up beer pong, put the fireworks on TV and call it good because your naivety and lack of preparation are the exact two ingredients needed to turn NYE into a massive session. People will still be in your flat at 6am spending hundreds on late night deliveries because your relaxed drinks accidentally became everybody else’s afters and now you’re locked in for a large one. Happy New Year.

Severely high maintenance hosting

You found the perfect OhPolly dress last month in the Black Friday sale and now you’re meticulously glueing on individual eyelashes before your guest arrive at 7pm (sharp). You’ve got a spread of nibbles out on the table, a designated NYE balloon wall for photos and numerous party games to play in the build up to midnight. Your guest list is small— close friends and boyfriends only. And you’ll probably cry before the end of the night because you’re not having as much fun as you hoped you might. Instagram pics will be fire, though.

Ticketed night out with a very long queue

You’ve never heard of this event before and you don’t care. The rest of your overdraft is specifically designated for this one night and you’re prepared to spend whatever small fortune you have left on taxis, shots and substances— whatever is takes to remember exactly zero per cent of the evening and makes sure everyone you dragged along with you has a seriously good time. You’re undeniably hectic and your friends are ok with that.

Table service in an overcrowded London club

You enjoy feeling better than everyone else in the room but, if being totally honest, you don’t particularly like clubbing. You’re on an elevated service to avoid being crushed by the hoards of people on the dance floor and you’ll give most of your bottles of Belvedere vodka away to girls you fancy. But good luck finding any of them again when you’re looking for someone to kiss at midnight.

Weekend away in an Air BnB rental

You’re heartbroken and, like Cameron Diaz in The Holiday, thought getting off the grid might help you to heal. While getting drunk with the friends of enough years to put up with your moping, you’re checking your ex’s Instagram story in sad silence. Will inevitably get black out drunk and go for a (still tipsy) new year, new me countryside walk the next day proclaiming “2023 is my time”. Very Bridget Jones.

House party hopping

You’re a people pleaser, over-achiever, and couldn’t bear the thought of doubling down on one NYE event only to find out the party you missed was better. You’ll inevitably spend half of your night in the back of a taxi and will have a change of shoes with you to prepare for the vibe shift of leaving a black tie event for a grimy 2AM house party. You’ll appear glamorous and in demand to everyone you speak to but will need a minimum of three days recovery time from the 7pm-8am session shift.

Staying in and falling asleep before the final dong

You are who everybody wishes they could be. Comfy, unbothered, and a little bit drunk. You’ll get slightly weepy when the clock strikes 12 and you can hear your neighbour’s guests cheering next door. But, ultimately, you’re the only one that’s got your shit together enough to ignore peer pressure.

Inevitably, you’ll begin to wonder whether you gatekept your peace a little too successfully this December at around 11PM, will contemplate going out, before nodding off and leaving your phone on loud in case of any unexpected 2AM messages from men you should really ignore.

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