boris johnson's birthday party m&s

M&S nibbles and unplanned afters: Deconstructing Boris Johnson’s raucous lockdown birthday party

They even got him a cake!!!

Just when you thought Sue Gray had enough on her plate already, details of another Downing Street lockdown party have emerged.

Don’t worry, though. This time, the overgrown public schoolboys were actually celebrating something significant. I am, of course, talking about Boris Johnson’s birthday.

Seriously – what other choice did they have? Obvs people were dying in their thousands, families were being torn apart and students were losing out on months of in-person education. But it was the man’s *birthday* – try cutting him some slack for once!!

I’m telling you – Tory naysayers were wrong about Boris the whole time. Turns out he can hold a piss-up in a brewery. And frequently did. While he told the entire nation to stay indoors.

So, in celebration of the prime minister partying down, please enjoy every envy-inducing detail of 2020’s birthday party of the year. (Literally. NO ONE ELSE was allowed one):

Guests enjoyed a smorgasbord of M&S nibbles

boris johnson m&s nibbles

Photo via Unsplash

Listen, in their defence, they could’ve gone to Waitrose or Selfridges. But they went with good old-fashioned, working class M&S. What was in this lowkey selection of snacks, Prime Minister? A salmon terrine? Caviar and blinis?

Naturally, people even brought out a cake for him – can’t help wondering whether it was Colin the Caterpillar. Clearly it couldn’t have been a party, though, because the cake was a surprise.

“The Prime Minister clearly didn’t organise to be given a cake,” Cabinet Minister Grant Shapps told Sky News. “Some people came forward and thought it would be appropriate for on his birthday.”

Aw, that’s okay then.

Lots of important people went

rishi sunak lockdown parties

Photo via YouTube

Director of Communications Jack Doyle, as well as Head of Operations Shelley Williams-Walker allegedly attended Boris Johnson’s birthday party. No.10’s interior designer, Lulu Lytle, also showed up to give him a cake.

Rishi Sunak apparently joined “very briefly” while waiting for a Covid meeting to start in the same room. Likely story.

Carrie got everyone to sing Happy Birthday for him

boris johnson

Photo via YouTube

While singing groups and choirs were banned from meeting up, Boris’ beloved wife got all the guests at the party to sing him Happy Birthday. Not a mask in sight either, love that for them!

They held afters inside No.10

downing street parties

Photo via Unsplash

Although Downing Street has vehemently denied claims that an afterparty happened after Boris Johnson’s birthday party, ITV reported that he did host family and friends in a gathering after the event.

Apparently, it all happened outside instead.

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