A thorough investigation into the worst fashion worn in Glee
Who let Kurt wear that hippo broach??
Glee is a hot mess. The show covers everything from a teenage stripper named White Chocolate to a Spanish teacher that probably should be registered as a sex offender. And still, the Glee cast version of “Don’t Stop Believin'” lives in my head rent-free (the Regionals version, obviously).
In this way, Glee has a lot in common with early 2010s fashion: cringe af but let’s be real, we all loved our low rise jeans and ironic mustache t-shirts. So what happens when you mix a ridiculous, out-there show like Glee with one of the worst eras of fashion? Absolute. Carnage.
Every episode of Glee had its own uniquely horrific outfits, so here is a collection of the absolute worst of the worst:
Starting off the pilot strong
This selection really sets the tone for the rest of the show. Why is Mercedes wearing a basketball jersey and camo trousers? Rachel looks simultaneously like a child and 50 years old. You know if Kurt looks the most normal you’re doing something wrong.
Stop trying to make goth happen
Poor Tina. Permanently under appreciated and wearing outfits that are frankly confusing. Key necklaces? A leather cuff? It’s the skirt and the beanie for me.
Who wears a cape to bed?
I think I know why Rachel didn’t end up losing her virginity to Jesse in this episode. It’s because anyone who wears a silk cape to bed probably isn’t ready to have sex.
Britney has a very cold head
To be honest, the arm warmers isn’t even what gets me about this outfit. Why is Britney always wearing a winter hat inside school? Does it have something to do with her super genius mind that we find out about in season four? And why does no one say anything?
Wait, Santana has a cold head too?
Okay now I’m really confused. Is this a Lima, Ohio epidemic? It’s a good thing they rejoined the Cheerios at the end of season two because clearly Britney and Santana do not know how to dress themselves.
I don’t even like when Rachel dresses like Rachel
I know this was supposed to be a joke, but I was more traumatised than I was laughing. Neck scarves and unicorn jumpers should be outlawed.
Absolutely not. This is the worst thing Sue does in the whole series. And she baked Coach Beiste’s cookies with dog poo.
Is this nighty-chic?
Okay, so Rachel clearly has a thing about nighttime apparel. This is supposed to be her big party outfit except she looks like she’s one of the Von Trapp kids in The Sound of Music. Adieu to this look.
This is loud, even for New York
Rachel is getting stared at for this look in the middle of Times Square. If you’re getting looked at in the busiest city in the world then you know you’re doing something wrong. Stick to less than three colours, Rachel.
I’m calling the police
Sebastian has a minor character arc so the fact that this look stuck with me really says something. Not only is he wearing a popped collar, but he’s wearing TWO. No wonder we see him in his Dalton uniform for most of the show. If he pulled out more looks like this, I may have had to stop watching the show on principle.
Flat caps are not fashion
I knew season four was the beginning of the end when they introduced Marley. She’s whiny, and she dresses like 2002 Brad Pitt. What high school student wears a flat cap regularly? Stick to writing your awful original songs.
Through it all, Kurt is by far the worst
Compiling the worst Kurt Hummel outfits is almost as difficult as winning a show choir nationals with original songs you wrote the morning of. Starting off season one is Kurt’s obscenely-long knit cardigan. That just can’t be easy to move around in.
Is he leading a marching band?
You have to hand it to Kurt. He gets bullied out of McKinley for his loud outfits, and this is what he chooses to return with. A top hat and matching fingerless gloves.
What on God’s green Earth is that?
Is it a poncho? A jumper? And why has he paired it with a leather braided cap? I just want to know how anyone could possibly take him seriously when it looks like he got dressed in the dark.
This is not a drill, Kurt is wearing an asymmetrical jumper
I would like the record to state that I am not okay with this outfit. I’m even more upset about the fact that this weird one sleeved cross-body jumper shows up not once but twice in the series. The costume directors liked it so much they brought it back for the series finale. A shame.
Last but not least, THE hippo broach
Not only does Kurt have a broach with a three dimensional hippo on it, but he wears it to a job interview with Vogue magazine (and Sarah Jessica Parker). And it gets him the job. In what world does the world’s biggest fashion magazine hire this man for his impeccable taste? The Glee world.