These moments from Glee prove the writers were on another planet entirely

Artie wheels himself into a swimming pool


A show like Glee would never be made today. Its crossover between Brooklyn 99-level humour and X Factor-level karaoke could have only happened in the early 2010s – and it was quite honestly the most insane thing on TV at the time.

We've spoken before about the batshit moments from the first series, but what happened afterwards proves beyond any reasonable doubt the writers had lost the plot.

If, like everyone else, you stopped watching Glee after that iconic first series, these are the most ludicrous bits you were lucky enough to miss:

THE CLUB SPENDS A WEEK GETTING PISSED AND THEY ALL ROCK UP TO SCHOOL HUNGOVER AS FUCK

The episode culminates in the club performing Tik Tok by Ke$ha and vomiting all over the stage. It’s WILD.

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In what world is vomit that colour?

GWENYTH PALTROW IS A GUEST TEACHER AND SHE SINGS A GARY GLITTER SONG

She waltzes in all like “you lot need better sex education” then covers a guy who was arrested for sex offences. Also she starts shagging Mr Schue and tbh I would also do that if I were married to Chris Martin.

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Ah yes the kids love Lindsey Lohan

THE CLUB DOES THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW AND DRESSES A 16-YEAR-OLD IN THESE???

Granted I am not complaining because Sam is like 30 irl so it’s okay and LOOK AT HIM.

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Just wow

LAUREN ZIZIS PERFORMS THIS AND IT IS A LOT TO TAKE IN

Hot damn.

THE KIDS USE A MENTAL IMAGE OF COACH BEISTE TO ‘COOL OFF’ WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AND IT IS NOT OKAY

Was there a lesson here? It was just plain nasty tbh. I mean they sing a song – does that absolve them?

THE NEW DIRECTIONS PERFORMING TOXIC BY BRITNEY CAUSES A SEX RIOT

Obviously Mr Schue performs with them and humps a hat throughout the entire thing.

THEY WRITE ORIGINAL HIT SONGS LITERALLY HOURS BEFORE THEY’RE MEANT TO PERFORM THEM

Seriously in what reality would you even get on the plane to a singing competition in New York without even so much as picking your songs let alone rehearsing them? Sidenote: There’s no way in hell the popstar level production of those songs would have been done in time.

THE ENTIRE GRILLED CHEESUS EPISODE

Who pitched this episode? Who is responsible for Finn spending an hour praying to an actual toastie? People sat in a room and agreed this could be a legitimate episode. They must be found and jailed for their crimes.

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The worst part is he keeps the sandwich for DAYS

ARTIE WHEELS HIMSELF INTO A SWIMMING POOL DURING THE ‘WE FOUND LOVE’ PERFORMANCE

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If this isn't symbolic I don't know what is

I'm just going to leave this here.

PUCK AND QUINN TRY AND SABOTAGE ELSA FROM FROZEN’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER ADOPTED CHILD

They hide hot sauce in her apartment because obviously social services would take your child off you for liking spice.

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Her hair!!!

BUT THEN ELSA FROM FROZEN SLEEPS WITH PUCK

He seduces her by singing because of course he does.

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Do you wanna build a snowman, miss?

MR SCHUE SAYS HE’LL ‘FIX’ EMMA’S OCD BY SINGING ‘FIX YOU’ BY COLDPLAY

That is not how OCD works, William.

THEY INTRODUCED THIS RORY GUY AND HIS ENTIRE PERSONALITY IS THAT HE’S IRISH

At one point he plots to fuck Brittany using Lucky Charms. No wonder he kind of just vanished from the show entirely.

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Lock this man up

ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO JOE????

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Sorry who are you?

In truth the producers created a whole reality series to funnel new cast members onto the show, then couldn’t find any way to make them interesting – hence why most of them got ditched.

IT TAKES RICKY MARTIN TO CONVINCE MR SCHUE HE’S ACTUALLY A SHIT SPANISH TEACHER

You should not be teaching Spanish if you literally can’t speak it you tool!

FINN PROPOSES TO RACHEL AND THEY NEARLY GET MARRIED

Literally everyone in their lives tells them it’s a stupid idea and yet they go through with it. Jesus take the wheel.

QUINN GETS HIT BY A GODDAMN TRUCK

This is a pretty harsh way to tell people not to text and drive.

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If you look to the right you can see the motherfucking truck blurring towards her

THEN SHE RECOVERS FROM PARALYSIS MIDWAY THROUGH SINGING 'TAKE MY BREATH AWAY'

I mean I know the song is a total belter but it’s not that good.

SAM HAS TO MAKE A LIVING PERFORMING AS A STRIPPER NAMED WHITE CHOCOLATE

It later turns out his family are doing just fine. Was he doing it for fun? For the clout?

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I am fine with this

EVERYONE GOT WEIRDLY UPSET OVER WHITNEY HUSTON’S DEATH

They had a vigil and it was super depressing. One of them even has a framed photo of her! Obvs she was iconic but a high school student would not literally mourn her. Yeesh.

THEY HAD A SECOND BRITNEY SPEARS EPISODE THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST AN ADVERT

Yeah you know you love that classic “Hold It Against Me”…

KURT SOMEHOW GETS AN INTERNSHIP AT VOGUE

Meanwhile I’m here with my uni degree and 100 rejections.

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Why won't Sarah Jessica Parker hire me???

HOW IN SWEET FUCK DO KURT AND RACHEL AFFORD THEIR SWANKY NEW YORK PAD

This has been said of every sitcom ever made but come on. These guys are at uni! In America! Which is expensive!

KATE HUDSON IS A FUCKING ARSEHOLE TO RACHEL

Every time she puts Rachel in the dirt she either breaks into a litty af musical number or shags her boyfriend. It’s peak times for Rach, to be honest.

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For context, she has literally just finished shagging Rachel's love interest

THE ENTIRE 'KITTY GIVES MARLEY BULIMIA' PLOT WAS FUCKED UP FROM START TO FINISH

Okay let’s dissect the just how weird this storyline was: First you have Marley, who gets teased because her mum is overweight. There’s no redemption arc surrounding that – it just happens and everyone gets on with their lives. Then you have Kitty, who hates Marley, but still takes Marley under her wing.

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What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?

Seemingly for not other reason than jealousy, Kitty leads Marley down a road of self-induced vomiting, which culminates in a full-on eating disorder, despite Marley already being super skinny. In other moments, Kitty throws herself into her friendship with Marley. One minute Kitty’s ALTERING MARLEY’S CLOTHES TO MAKE THEM SMALLER and giving her laxatives, the next she’s delivering encouraging speeches and singing duets with her.

The whole arc culminates in a malnourished Marley fainting during a performance of Gangnam Style, after which Kitty faces exactly zero consequences for what she’s done. It is not good.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS EVEN MORE CLAPPED? THE SCHOOL SHOOTING EPISODE

To this day it baffles me no one took the Glee writers aside and said: “Hey, school shootings are kind of a serious thing to feature in a show like Glee. Maybe let’s leave that one.”

THE GRAND TRIO OF FUCK WAS ROUNDED OUT BY A CATFISHING STORYLINE

And who did the ever-woke Glee script-writers decide should be the catfish desperate to chirpse the conventionally attractive white boy? A black trans person. Well done to everyone involved.

THIS ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF 'BABY GOT BACK' WAS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY

Look at the face he pulls at about 0:56. You can see the regret in his eyes.

UMMM WHY IS A SHOWCHOIR TAKING STEROIDS????

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This is genuinely a still from Glee

Answer: For plot convenience.

BRODY IS A LITERAL ESCORT!!!

In fairness he sings “How to Be a Heartbreaker” while dancing with his older lady friend and Rachel sings the bridge. I’m not exaggerating but it’s art.

PUCK STARTS HOOKING UP WITH KITTY AND IT’S NOT OKAY

She. Is. Still. In. School.

WHY DON’T THESE GRADUATES ALL JUST FUCK OFF?

Seriously every single graduate returns at some point. Oh, the musical needs a “vocal director”? Better get Mercedes. They don’t know how to dance? Ring Mike. These people need to move on.

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GET A JOB

WILL AND EMMA GET MARRIED IN THE ACTUAL CHOIR ROOM

Mr Schue these people are schoolchildren they are not your friends!

THERE IS A WHOLE EPISODE ON TWERKING

Because all the kids were doing it.

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This is awful

MR SCHUE KICKS MARLEY OUT OF GLEE BECAUSE SHE WON’T DRESS IN A LADY GAGA-STYLE SEA SHELL BIKINI

He actually says: “You put your personal agenda above us winning a championship.” Mr Schue you can’t just force people to dress up half naked they are children.

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How dare you dress up like one popstar and not the other

WHY WERE ADAM LAMBERT AND DEMI LOVATO IN THE CAST AND WHERE DID HE GO??

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I hope you got paid, sir

Remember when they all started a band? No? Me neither. Adam was probably sent to the same meat grinder Rory was.

RACHEL CANS IN HER BROADWAY DREAMS AND IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE

Character development? I don’t know her.

SORRY BUT ALL THESE 23-YEAR-OLDS CAN’T POSSIBLY TEACH IN SCHOOLS

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Are any of you DBS checked?

Blaine, Rachel, Kurt, AND Sam all take up teaching positions at McKinley despite having zero teaching qualifications between them, or even a degree.

SUE TRAPS KURT AND BLAINE IN A LIFT AND MAKES THEM KISS

I’m pretty sure that is illegal. Actually scratch that it’s definitely illegal.

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Why did they not press charges?

SHE ALSO HYPNOTISES SAM WHICH IS JUST DUMB

I have it on good authority they actually used a random word generator to devise this storyline.

THEN – THEN – SHE BUYS A BEAR AND PUTS IT IN BLAINE’S HOUSE

It’s a gay joke guys. Do you get it guys? Wait don’t go.

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Very good very drole

STEPHEN HAWKING IS APPARENTLY BRITTANY'S FATHER

I’m sure the Stephen Hawking foundation or whatever would have sued if anyone had seen this season. But no one had so it’s okay.

THE BEISTE BEING TRANS PLOT WAS BOTH WOKE AND BROKE AT THE SAME TIME

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Pour one out for Bieste – deserved better

The entire Bieste transitioning arc happens in the space of about two episodes and felt crow-barred in. It was indicative of the way Glee tried desperately to tackle every possible contemporary issue it could, yet somehow manage to tackle them all badly. Which is honestly impressive when you think about it.

EVERYONE GETS MARRIED

You know how in Friends most of the characters end up in happy relationships because they’re adults with lives and that’s what you’d expect? Glee shoots for the same sentiment forgetting these characters are barely out of high school.

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Sure why not

WHY IS THIS CHILD NOW A MEMBER OF THE NEW DIRECTIONS???

That is not how high school works, you can’t just bribe your way in if you’re underage this is not a club in Guilford.

THE ENTIRE DREAMS COME TRUE EPISODE WAS JUST STUPID

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I'm glad we all learned valuable lessons

Kurt and Blaine get married. Rachel wins a Tony. Everyone is a success. But none of that is as ridiculous as Mr Schue running a whole school of Glee clubs. An insane ending to an insane show.

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