All the evidence Mr Schue from Glee should have been locked up

Your honour, I stand to mount a case against a defendant whose crimes have gone unnoticed, uncounted, and unpunished. That man’s name is William Schuester. Yes, even in the world of Glee, the stupidest TV show ever made, Mr Schue stands out as the character guilty of the most inappropriate behaviour, whether it’s the unnecessary bodily contact while performing with his students, the daylight murder of several of your favourite songs, or the many weird faces he pulls while the members of the glee club expose their pants to him during performances.

“But wait!” I hear the defence cry. “Most of the Glee cast are like 30 in real life, even Matthew Morrison who plays Mr Shue. It’s not technically weird that when he sang that duet with Rachel they made tender love with their eyes because the actors are both consenting adults – they even dated in real life!”

Well I am here to tell you that it is weird, and Mr Schue should face the severity of what he’s done. Members of the jury I present you all the evidence Mr William Schuester is guilty of being a massive fucking creep and should be locked up for his crimes, which are unprecedented, dastardly, and multitudinous.

LET’S START WITH THE OBVIOUS, HE SECRETLY OBSERVES FINN WHILE HE SINGS IN THE SHOWER FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLY LONG TIME

Whether you’ve ever worked with kids or not, you know being alone in a changing room with a child is a big no no. One foot outside the door and have another adult with you at all times. Come on, mate.

OH AND HE RECRUITS FINN BY BASICALLY FRAMING HIM FOR DRUG POSSESSION

There’s a moment in season 3 where he reveals this to Finn and if I were him I’d have called the police straight away.

WHEN HE AND RACHEL DUETTED ON ‘ENDLESS LOVE’ THEY WERE EYE-FUCKING AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THEY WEREN’T

Why did they do this? Of all the songs to pick why that one? No, Mr Schue, you can’t just look uncomfortable and press on – you are the adult here. Put a stop to it.

THE NOISE HE MAKES AT THE BEGINNING OF HIS PERFORMANCE OF ‘KISS’ IS NOT OKAY

Find the engineer who was there when he recorded this, and fire them.

WHEN RACHEL GETS SLUSHIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM HE STANDS THERE LIKE A LEMON ASKING HER IF SHE’S OKAY RATHER THAN TELLING OFF THE STUDENTS WHO THREW IT

“No Mr Schue I am not. For that matter, why does the school sell slushies that people don’t even drink? You’re literally facilitating my bullying.”

HE PERFORMS ‘TOXIC’ WITH THE STUDENTS AND HUMPS A HAT THROUGHOUT THE WHOE THING

Look at this choreography and tell me that should be allowed.

If that weren’t bad enough the performance culminates in a ‘Britney Spears sex riot’ during which one of the students begs to have Mr Schue’s babies.

WHEN MERCEDES AND SANTANA SHAKE THEIR BUMS HE PULS THIS FACE

@renataklienwe need a creepy mr schue tag PLEASE ##glee ##mrschue ##xyzcba♬ original sound – renataklien

I would just like to remind anyone who wants to make some sort of Glee 2.0 that these characters are 16 at this point and that the placement of the teacher character should be considered when choreographing scenes please and thank you.

THE MAN HAS NO ADULT FRIENDS

It’s not okay just because they lampshade it. I’m just saying.

HIS RAPPING STILL GIVES ME NIGHTMARES

Granted, he did tone it down as the show went on but for some reason Ryan Murphy really wanted Mr Schue to ruin a lot of songs with his terrible rapping. Gold Digger, Bust a Move, Ice Ice Baby, and The Thong Song – all mercilessly destroyed by Matthew Morrison. For shame.

AS DOES HIS TOUCHING THE KIDS DURING PERFORMANCES 

@rooslanaruskI DONT EVEN HATE HIS CHARACTER BUT COME ON DAWG THESE WERE MINORS ##Glee ##MrShue ##mrshuestergotojail ##celebratedoctors ##thedrop ##sidehustle♬ original sound – rooslanarusk

Show me this man’s DBS check.

THERE WAS A REALLY UNSAVOURY PLOTLINE WHERE HE IGNORED UNIQUE’S STRUGGLES WITH TRANSPHOBIA IN ORDER TO GET THE GLEE CLUB TO TWERK FOR A WHOLE EPISODE

Remember twerking? Remember Blurred Lines? Remember that Will Schuester once made it his mission to get the whole school twerking on stage with him to Blurred Lines?

@jazzzyxoMr.Schue crossed so many lines and we just let him HAHA ##levelup ##glee ##gleek ##fyp ##mrschue♬ original sound – jazzzyxo

If that weren’t awful enough, Mr Schue is given the option to allow Unique to use the staff bathroom and REFUSES so he can pull off this mass twerking fiasco. Yikes.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE HE COULD HAVE ASKED TO BE HIS BEST MAN, MR SCHUE CHOSES FINN – A STUDENT

I kid you not he says to Finn “you taught me more about being a man than anyone I know.” That Finn didn’t just laugh in his face is a minor miracle.

HE GETS REALLY HUNG UP ON THE POSSIBILITY A BUNCH OF 18-YEAR-OLDS WON’T ATTEND HIS WEDDING

I need to be shown the deleted scene where Mr Schue cooks Emma a lovely meal, redecorates and cleans their house, and runs her a nice bath before this scene happens, because if it were me and I were told I couldn’t move my wedding because a group of high school grads couldn’t attend without those things being done for me, I would kick off.

HE PULLS THIS UNACCEPTABLE FACE DURING BRITTANY’S PERFORMANCE OF ‘I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY’

HOW MANY TIMES, WILL?

THE EPISODE WHERE HE PLAYS INTO SPANISH STEREOTYPES WAS OFFENSIVE ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL

Fair enough, some teachers end up in roles they don’t like because schools need teachers and there aren’t enough of them. But was it really necessary to devote an hour to Mr Schue perpetuating harmful stereotypes and mocking Spanish culture just to be told by a 17-year-old that he should quit his job? Reader, it was not.

AND FOR THE RECORD HOW IS IT AN ACCEPTABLE USE OF PUBLIC MONEY TO HAVE HIM ‘TEACH GLEE’ FULL TIME?

To this day I do not understand how this works.

WHEN KITTY IS LIFTED OVER ARTIE’S HEAD EXPOSING HER PANTS MR SCHUE PULLS THIS FACE

Even Mercedes has the sense to stay in character and look away.

HIS FLIRTING WITH SUE ACTUALLY MADE ME WANT TO VOMIT

Try and listen to the clip where he says “hump day” out loud and not be violently sick. If you’re feeling particularly big try watching his performance of ‘Tell Me Something Good’ while you’re at it.

MARLEY IS SUSPENDED BY HIM FOR THE CRIME OF NOT WANTING TO DRESS UP IN A SKIMPY OUTFIT

He actually tries to justify himself to her by saying “we’re trying to win a championship here.” You cannot make this up, except someone did.

ALSO I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS HAPPENING BUT HE AND EMMA HAVE SEX IN A SCHOOL BATHROOM AND BECKY WALKS IN ON THEM

Between the indecent exposure in front of a child and the whole having-sex-on-school property thing, I’m amazed he wasn’t fired on the spot. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE NEWLYWEDS.

HE JUST SITS THERE WHILE THE GIRLS DO THIS WEIRD CROTCH-FANNING MOVEMENT DURING THE ENDING OF SEASON ONE

@jazzzyxorewatching Mr.Schue is creepy lmao ##glee ##gleek ##fyp♬ original sound – jazzzyxo

Who choreographed this? I want names. Granted I think it’s meant to reference another performance earlier in the series but it’s still gross.

HE TRIES TO SAY BEING IN THE CLUB MAKES THE GLEE KIDS MINORITIES

This comes after Sue forms a separate glee club using only minority students, after which he says she was “right” to do so. Another example of straight white men learning nothing from that happens over the course of an hour-long Glee episode. Hooray.

ALSO HE IS WAY TOO UPFRONT ABOUT HIS MARRIAGE WITH THE KIDS

There’s this moment where he says he has a full-on debrief about it in front of the group and Santana says “aside from creeping us out why are you telling us this” and you know what she is bang on.

@kailamallardSantana is ALL of us when we rewatch Glee ##levelup ##glee ##gleek ##andthatswhatyoumissedonglee ##fyp♬ original sound – kailamallard

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHEN HE PLUGGED ONE OF THIS OWN SONGS IN ONE OF THE EPISODES?

In hindsight, how mad was it that they let Matthew Morrison sing his own song on a Broadway stage for two uninterrupted minutes for no real reason at all? I think it was somehow worse than his rapping.

HIS GLEE CLUB REUNION SHOWN DURING THE LAST EPISODE SUPPOSEDLY TOOK PLACE IN 2020 WHICH MEANS THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOCIAL DISTANCING

HE SAID HE WOULD ‘FIX’ EMMA’S ODC BY SINGING ‘FIX YOU’ BY COLDPLAY

To be fair, at least he didn’t rap.

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