What it’s like to actually date a young Tory, by people who’ve done it

‘He wanted to buy a Margaret Thatcher cut out for his room’


Young Tories get a lot of stick. They have terrible fashion taste, patronising triple-barrel names and no one wants to live with them. But what is it like to date one? We spoke to the people who have dated Conservative voters in the past about what it’s actually like:

Jilly, 22

We matched on Bumble at the start of last summer and spoke for a few days but he was very much “meet and skip small talk.” So we went to a pub in Clapham and it was just a bit dry but he seemed ok. Then I offered to get the second round and he started lecturing me about feminism so all the red flags were going. It went very downhill from there.

I studied Philosophy and Economics so I mentioned that I studied a feminist module when he was lecturing me and he basically said “You tried to do PPE but weren’t good enough.” And then said he did PPE at Oxford so obviously that’s what I had aimed for.

I brushed it off and then he asked me what I wanted to do after graduation. I said I wasn’t sure and didn’t know where I’d live and he said he was going to buy a house so I could have a room rent free and pay him back in sexual favours. Safe to say I never saw him again.

Bella, 21

What can I say? Posh boys in suits yelling about globalisation really gets me going. Nah but honestly, one of them once tried to convince me that we need to stop taking in any refugees and I walked out of his private apartment. What a dick.

Another one was an army lad who just reeked Tory. I went back to his house and he had a massive Union Jack flag covering an entire wall and another wall was covered in army memorabilia and I STILL shagged him.

I think I would date a Tory again, because I apparently have a very cohesive track record and also no morals. Also I’m sorry but they are just generally better dressed and have better hygiene than left wingers it’s a FACT. But when you break it off, they’re always like: “Is it because I’m a Tory?” and it’s like no but you are an arsehole and those might be unable to be mutually exclusive.

Yas, 22

I went to a very Tory filled school, but my mate’s boyfriend was your typical Tory and broke up with her when there was a General Election because he needed to “focus on spreading the word of David Cameron.”

Harriet, 23

My ex probably couldn’t get much more Tory if he tried. His dad owns four private schools, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happier than when he went to listen to Ann Widdecombe do a talk and he wanted a cardboard cutout of Thatcher in our first year flat, but he’s also so tight with money it’s hilarious. I think the point when he was contemplating buying a cardboard cut out of Margaret Thatcher was probably the end for us.

Yeah I’d say he was a pretty fair representation, I wouldn’t say all his negative qualities were because he was a raging Tory but I definitely don’t think they were mutually exclusive. I’ve dated three other Tories since because pretty much everyone in Exeter is a Tory so they’re quite hard to escape.

Taneesha, 19

Oh God. I was only dating this guy to piss of another ex, who was also a signet-wearing Tory. But this guy I was essentially using (oops) was a massive Tory. He was a classic Kent cricket-playing one. Said pay gap wasn’t real because the “economics” explained it. He also dressed up as Jimmy Saville for his Halloween and openly supported Trump. He loved Brexit more than he ever could have loved me.

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