Razor burns, ingrown hairs and Jolen: All the struggles of being hairy af
Firstly, it’s expensive
Look I know it's 2019 and no one cares whether you have body hair or not, but it wasn't like that when we were all growing up. If you had darker, thicker hair on your body, you felt obliged to get rid of it because that's what everyone else around you expected you to do.
Wax strips gone wrong, blood everywhere from trying to shave in hard to reach places and epilating as a form of torture may be a distant memory. But these are the struggles only people who grew up hairy will understand:
Trying every type of hair removal technique and it never really working out
Shaving, waxing, sugaring, hair removal creams and even laser hair removal hasn't stopped you from being hairy. If anything it's just ended up hurting you and costing you a lot of money!!! Great, now you're hairy and broke!
Having super bushy eyebrows before it became high fashion
You over-plucked your eyebrows along with everyone else and then realised that all along, everyone wanted to have naturally bushy eyebrows like you. HA. How the tables have turned.
Having hairy knuckle hair…and even hairy toes
Where to even begin? You've obviously tried shaving it off, only to end up hacking at your hands and feet.
Hitting puberty really early, so you started removing your hair at the age of 11/12
Your panicked mum probably assisted you to! God forbid anyone sees you with*whispers* body hair.
Hair growing back on the same day you shaved it
Not only do you have a lot of hair, it grows so quickly. You'll shave in the morning and by the evening your skin feeling prickly again. Brilliant. What even was the point?
Not realising that nipple hair even existed???
Oh hello. It's just another random place your hair likes to grow apparently. Why is it so straggly? Do you remove it? Do you leave it? Why do these hairs keep randomly popping up all over my body?
Rinsing your razor after every stroke when shaving
So. Much. Hair. Your razor can only do so much!!!
When shaving legs, never knowing exactly where to stop
Because obviously your hair doesn't stop on your leg, so where do you?
Your sink and bath drains always being blocked with hair
It is what it is.
Trying to bleach all your body hair, only to have it turn a disgusting orange hue
You thought bleaching your hair would solve all your problems and you'd be like one of those tanned blonde girls with hair so light, you can barely see it. But how wrong you were. It's still there, it's thick and now your moustache is ginger.
Inevitably shaving your face (and cutting it up badly)
The quite normal peach fuzz on your face has irritated you at one point and you decided to shave it off, inducing a crazy break out on your face and accidentally shaving off a part of your eyebrow.
Experiencing razor burns and ingrown hairs like no one else
Dry shaving? Yikes. Ingrown hairs growing deeper and deeper inside your skin? Double yikes.
Going on holiday sends you into a state of panic because you don't know how to keep all that hair off your body for a week straight
"Hello, yes, can I book an appointment for a full body wax please?"
One word – epilators
Hell on earth. Never again. Ow.
Deciding what to wear depending on what your body hair situation is
Hairy legs? Jeans it is. Slight armpit hair? Long-sleeve top.
Eventually giving up and accepting you'll be hairy forever
After about ten years of trying everything to get rid of your body hair you'll accept that it's a part of you. Sometimes it's easier and cheaper to just give up and not gaf.