A genuinely useful list of things to get your dad on Father’s day

Father’s day. A day to thank your poor father for the nights you kept him awake, the days you annoyed him as a child, the weeks you ignored him as a teenager and the thousands upon thousands of pounds he has spent on you. It’s also a day to celebrate your classic relationship, which is probably a bit more classic now you’ve left home.

So, stop spanking pounds on pints and get your dad something nice for Father’s day this Sunday with these links.

Toblerone £10.80

Kicking it off with a classic, you can’t go far wrong with a Toblerone. I defy anyone to find a father in this land that doesn’t love a big Toblerone. To top it off it even has the words “KING DAD” emblazoned on the side.

Toblerone collection set, £15.99

If you like him even more, why not get him a whole set for a few quid more.

Cupcake toppers, £1.80

If you’re broke af, don’t worry. Why don’t you steal the ingredients for a cake from home, and buy these cupcake toppers to add a cute touch.

Engraved lighter, £3.01

Perhaps an odd one, perhaps not. But if your father is a smoker and you aren’t hell bent on getting him to quit, why not get him an engraved zippo.

Case of 12 assorted Ales, £16.00

Because dads like ale, am I right?

Portable speakers, £14.99

One for the modern, music loving dad here. Get him some portable speakers to keep him occupied whilst doing dad things like rearranging his dad draw or doing DIY.

‘World’s greatest farter’ t-shirt, £7.98

If your dad is into puns, he’ll find this accidental spelling mistake (hehe) t-shirt saying “World’s greatest farter” hilare.

Cadbury’s chocolate, £10.00

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Get him a BIG Cadbury’s bar to show him you care just as much as you have done every other year, when you got him a Cadbury’s bar. This one even says “Number one dad” and “You’re the best!”.

Water guns x 2, £9.99

You’re old now, and probably not as fun as the times you used to run around the garden pummelling each other with super soakers.

Slippers, £12.99

Because every dad needs a comfy pair of slippers to rest their weary feet. Or get him some joke ones that he’ll laugh awkwardly at when you give them to him, and wear them the three times you come home that year.

Whiskey, £20-40

A dad classic. Buy him some Talisker for £25. Or if you want to show you care that little bit more, go for Glenmorangie (10 years aged, fancy) for £34.89. If you want to go that little bit further, get them the Glenmorangie set with tumblers for £39.99. Let’s be honest, you have a loan now, you probably blew £100 at the weekend on yourself and you’ve been sponging off your dad your entire life.

Cheese, £16.99/£19.99

Order a Snowdonia bomber set (it’s the best cheese in the world, trust) for £16.99 – or get him this one with chutney included for £3 more.

Vinyl player, £49.99

Take him back to his teenage years with a record player. Or, if he already has one, pick him up The Who’s Quadrophenia record for twenty quid.

‘Brilliant Dad’ socks, £11.99

Go to novelty town and refuse to fucking leave with these horrible, cringeworthy socks.

Helicopters and drones, £12.49

Remote control helicopters are the ultimate boys’ toy.

“Well done, I’m awesome” card £3.10

If you are desperate and narcissistic you can buy this card. Amazon has other cards available next-day-delivery, too.

Toy car, £29.99

Get your dad not only a toy car, not only a remote control car, but a remote-control beamer. 

Antique books

If you have time to go shopping before the day, rifle through old bookshops for early versions his favourite book – ask your ma if you don’t know.

Albums

See above, you can’t go wrong buying him his classic teenage album, or put in some time and make him a CD with his favourite tracks for the car.