Here’s the ultimate game of green and red flags at the University of Birmingham

The University of Birmingham is home to more than 40,000 students, all enjoying its green campus, city nightlife and the joys of Selly Oak living.

There are so many green flag aspects of the University of Birmingham that make it a great university and loved by students. However, there are a few things that stick out as a weakness for Birmingham University, also known as red flags.

So, this is a random selection of red and green flags, that make the University of Birmingham unique.

Old Joe: Green Flag

Arguably the biggest bright-green flag at UoB, Old Joe is the pride and joy of campus.

Old Joe is a beautiful icon, making Birmingham University’s campus unique as it’s the tallest free-standing clocktower in the world!

It’s useful not only as a meeting place but did you know it can also tell the time! I had never used the clock to actually tell the time until this year, and I highly recommend it.

During a match on the Bournbrook pitches, you can look up and see how much you have in the quarter. Not only that, the bongs of Old Joe really bring a fun edge to the walk home from Circo when I realise its already 3am.

You can also see Old Joe for miles, a useful tool for knowing how far you have strayed from campus. One of its main jobs though, is keeping every University of Birmingham student’s Instagram alive. Haven’t posted in two years? Nothing a cheeky Old Joe pic won’t fix!

The Teaching and Learning Stairs: Red Flag

The stairs which will always make you look like a clown in front of everyone.

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The Teaching and Learning Building stairs are incredibly wide. Do I risk looking like a Hyrox athlete trying to dominate the stairs, or take the lift? You have to either lunge down those stairs like you’re a BUCS athlete at training or try the coveted two-step method where you take two tiny steps on each stair. Whatever you pick, you’re guaranteed to look like Bambi taking her first steps.

Even worse, you will probably walk past your seminar crush just as you are in the compromising lunge position.

Wednesdays at the Guild: Green Flag

Wednesday nights at the Guild for Sports Night is one of Birmingham University’s best offerings.

The Guild almost never disappoints and the chaos of five rooms of music and everyone you have ever met in the same place till the early hours is something that can never be recreated.

The silent disco is easily the best room to party in, with a beautiful mix of Jägerbomb deals, it is truly the pinnacle of the sports night experience.

The stories told at the morning after debrief could be said to be the best part of the experience. The convenience of it being on campus is unbeatable and the wild array of costumes always make it so funny.

The unity at Angels needs to be mentioned too; the feeling of being the last ones there and hearing the sweet sound of Robbie Williams feels like actual heaven (Joes on a busy sports night is not, though).

Muirhead Tower: Red Flag 

Muirhead Tower is one of the University of Birmingham’s ultimate red flags. I don’t say this lightly as a proud politics student, but it is a unique piece of architecture top put it nicely.

The fact it also cost a whopping £40 million is incredibly confusing. I do love the Starbucks addition and the seminar rooms are relatively quite modern, but I just can’t get over how it sticks out like such a sore thumb, the brutalist architecture compared to the beautiful red-brick Aston Webb is particularly scary.

Not only this, the side of Muirhead looks like an electric towel rail to warm up every student’s bath towel before going into Birmingham’s funky looking water. I do appreciate the effort of the new LEDs on the stairs though.

Selly Oak Aldi: Green Flag

One of the highlights of Bristol Road, Selly Aldi is a place of dreams. Convenient and cheap, you won’t be doing your weekly shop anywhere else in Brum.

To accommodate for the Chamberlain girls, don’t worry there is an M&S in the retail park, please don’t panic!

The middle aisle is a sight to behold with all the new kitchen gadgets and lots of things you definitely don’t need but will probably end up buying. Although the queues can sometimes get out of hand, I just see this as a testament to how many people share the joys of Aldi. Also, to whoever decided to build an Aldi in the middle of a student area, 10/10 decision.

Selly Oak housing: Red Flag

via Google Maps

I’m sure it’s not a surprise that student housing in Selly has made it to my red flags, as it’s pretty much hits all of the stereotypes for a student area.

Lots of damp and mould, a few rats and silverfish on the streets, and way too many overflowing bins. Not to mention the occasional sketchy landlord, Selly is not for the weak.

I’m afraid this is not specific to Selly though, and you will find this in pretty much all student areas, just check your TikTok for the evidence. Although Selly is not the nicest of places to live, at least it builds character- that’s what I tell myself anyway. Smelly Oak may not be the greatest part of Birmingham University, but it truly is my home.