Mansell Goes Mental

Much as I’ve deigned not to rise to petty, ignorant, and sometimes plain insulting comments left on my articles in the past, one came through recently with so much painstakingly detailed criticism that I couldn’t resist putting the author right.

If you haven't seen the comment, it is the bizarrely verbose offering at the bottom of my previous article (http://www.durhamone.co.uk/en/photos/columnist/2012-04-26/1206/groundwork-season-or-how-to-prep-for-goldrush.html)

Let’s start by pointing out that he/she is anonymous, which instantly discredits their standpoint. If you stand by your remarks after reading this, you have no reason to continue to conceal your identity.

Dear ‘Nietzsche’

First of all, I’ll say that I’d have more respect for your comment if you didn’t use such ridiculous terminology (dude – time and place), and will let you know that using big words does not validate the content. I can write big words too, doesn’t mean I’m right.

I can only imagine your spelling mistakes (Surry anyone?) are due to the fact you were up for hours writing what is quite frankly a telling indictment of how much you need to analyse your own life, not psychoanalyse my sex life.

You break down why I write my column into several factors, each as vacuous and unfounded as the next. Firstly, you claim I’m a social climber desperate to live up to the expectations of my Surrey breeding and reach the higher echelons of my class.

Well let me start by saying that – and I’m afraid to disappoint – my background is not the suburbs of Surrey, I was born in and now live near Wolverhampton, and went to a sh*t state school.

The first of many presumed and fallacious (see, big word!) claims from someone who’s never met me.

Next you talk about ‘a deficiency in your fashion acumen or excelling the aesthetic standards of the company you choose to associate with’.

You think I write this column because I’m ugly?! What kind of argument is that?! How can you actually type such a sentiment without realising how ridiculous it sounds?

You go on to state that countless boys reject me (cheers for that) and that my sexual experiences amount solely to shallow, meaningless encounters.

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In fact, I don’t tell everyone to sleep around (an article from first term directly warned against it) and I don’t assume there is nothing more to life than sex, but I do know that people love reading about it.

Believe it or not, I don’t write because I’m an unattractive, social-climbing, boy-repulsing slut. I write to entertain.

I don’t aspire to grandiose writing on intellectual subjects: I talk sex because sex is fun, because there’s a demand for it. It pervades daily life, in one way or another, and especially the student’s daily life, so it doesn’t seem horrifically irrational for me to write a column on it.

The subject matter may at times be controversial, it may be shallow, but – and I hate to break it to you – conversations in life aren’t supposed to be reduced to discussions of ‘the ideal expression of the Dionysian and the blending of the antagonisms’.

The fact you refer to our time at uni as ‘an artificially hedonistic period’ implies that your experience hasn’t lived up to expectations. There’s been nothing artificial about my hedonism this year – the same goes for many students – and this is what my column aims to reflect.

I don’t go on BBC Sports because it doesn’t interest me, so it goes without saying that if my writing bores you: don’t click the link.

All you’re doing is proving the popularity of my column, and if you were offended by it, you wouldn’t come back for more every week, which a tiny part of you obviously wants.

I could go all psycho chat on you and talk about your lack of sex life, but as I don’t know you, this would be an unfair judgement.

Your staggering presumption, intensely condescending style and attempt at validating your statements by hiding behind what you think is hard-hitting rhetoric have, quite frankly, rendered you a laughing stock in my house, and I imagine many other houses today.

I could genuinely write reams about how moronic, pretentious and unintelligent this comment is, but I have more boys to get rejected by and shallow one night stands to have. Did that attempt at sarcasm work? I hope so.

Sincerely,

Alex Mansell