The Apprentice: Week 6

Setting the Scene

It’s 5pm and Lord Sugar’s heard the candidates are playing the Wii so has popped round for a visit. Ricky Martin must have beaten him at the tennis game or something though because it’s not long before he spoils the fun. The task this week, he announces, is to take up arms and join the street food revolution, creating gourmet mobile restaurants. But, there is a twist; the candidates will be shipped up to Edinburgh to unleash their creations on the poor unsuspecting Scots. Kind of like Poll Tax. As per, whoever make the most profit wins.

The Task

If banishing them to Scotland isn’t enough, The Sug also assigns team captains; Adam to Phoenix and Jenna to Sterling. There’s a lot of pressure on Sterling because they’ve only won once so far. But, they quickly come up with a great product: traditional Scottish grub designed to target the lucrative tourist market. The only problem Jenna envisages is if customers speak Scottish because she doesn’t understand it. Luckily, token Scot Laura is on their team so they’ve got that covered. Adam, however, is a bit more knowledgeable about the Scottish psyche. He knows that they generally eat deep fried mars bars and haggis and stuff so he wants to offer them something different. He turns down the suggestion of Japanese (because, seriously, who even eats Japanese food?) and eventually settles on Italian.

Sterling visit a Michelin starred Scottish chef for some advice on their Scot Pots. He emphasises how the quality of their beef is the most important thing. He’s English so Jenna understands him enough to follow his point. Using expensive ingredients is a risky strategy, but one they feel they must take in order to remain under the remit of “gourmet”. It pays off and the tourists love it. Latino ledge Ricky Martin even spots a fellow musician playing the bagpipes and uses his charms to convince him to play by their pitch to attract customers proving there is really is nothing this man can’t do. Just like the time he joined his first boy band, Menudo, at the tender age of twelve. Adam, on the other hand, doesn’t really understand the concept of “gourmet” no matter how many times foodie Tom tells him. Instead, he believes that cheap and cheerful is the way forward, but with the gourmet price tag of course. Naturally Katie’s idea to sell their “meat”balls to a bunch of football punters at Tyneside for £5.99 a pop doesn’t go down too well. Neither does Steven’s idea of pitching to tourists on a tour bus dressed in various Italian foodstuff garb attempting to force them off the bus to buy their food.

In the end, Adam’s rubbish food resulted in them losing with a profit of £298.04 behind Jenna’s £319.78.

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The Boardroom

Adam seems surprised by his loss. To be honest, he doesn’t really blame himself because he didn’t do anything wrong. He doesn’t really know what the team did wrong, but luckily Al soon points it out for him providing an easily accessible bandwagon for him to hitch his horse to. First off the branding, like everything else they’ve done, was rubbish, despite the fact that two marketing experts were assigned to do it. The locations too were rubbish. Oh, and the food was rubbish as well. I’m waiting for Al to say something redeeming. He doesn’t. Because none of this is Adam’s fault, he brings back Katie and Azhar. This is the third time Katie’s been in the bottom three. Uh oh. Lord Sugar says that she gave gullible Adam the wrong information like some kind of siren luring an idiotic sailor. Azhar hasn’t said much and it doesn’t go unnoticed. But, when he does say something, it apparently makes sense so he’s off the hook. It seems like Groove Train has been forgotten about then?

Who’s Fired?

It was three strikes and out for Katie.

The Verdict

If I was Lord Sugar, I would have had to fire the whole team on account of the gross concentration of stupidity festering among their ranks. They didn’t brand correctly, the food was rubbish and Azhar even tried to sell to a squirrel. (FYI even it doesn’t want any). Adam, as the leader of this band of idiots, had a very lucky escape.