Porter of the week

‘The worst part of my job isn’t drunk freshers – it’s dealing with disorganised academics’

They’re the knights in shining armour when we lock ourselves out, the saviours when the vending machines refuse to dispense that much needed KitKat, and the rescuers when our rooms are invaded by “giant spiders”.

Due to some shit University policy we can’t reveal name of the our beloved porters interviewed. So we’ll call him Frank,and Frank can be found in the Ron Cooke Hub.

“Take a picture of me from up there so you can’t see my face and the uni won’t get mad” Genius

Time at UoY:

A whopping 14 years!


“Helga and Lulu, Spaniel- Collies or “Sprollies” who can be spotted being walked around Goodricke College.”

Funniest night as a porter:

“One Freshers’ Week a Bucking Bronco was placed outside Goodricke College.

“I fell off almost instantly but a fellow porter clung on to the end.

“He was nicknamed “One Hand Greg” after that.”

Favourite aspect of the job:

“Helping people. And showing them magic tricks. Three cup trick – find it on YouTube. Come back at 7pm and I’ll show you some real magic. The three coin trick!”

Fucking magical

Last meal request:

“Chicken pesto pasta. Sadly, post holiday to Egypt, I’m on an alcohol free, two month detox. Got to stay clear of my favourite red wine.”

(We asked him to pre with us. He said no because of the detox)

Worst aspect of the job:

“People assume it’s clearing up the vomit of the freshers. But that’s part of them growing up. The worst aspect is probably dealing with disorganised academics.”


What a guy.