Uni make ‘shit’ plans to build club on campus

We have Willow, what else do we need

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It’s been announced this week that people high up in the uni are considering spending £200K on a nightclub on campus.

But it’s divided opinon across campus with comments ranged from “exciting” to “absolutely shit.”

The inevitable

The inevitable

Here is a list of things we came up with that could be done with that £200,000

  • Increase funding for societies
  • Buy more books for the library so everyone on your course isn’t fighting over the only three copies
  • Get rid of the asbestos in Derwent
  • Subsidise taxis for Halifax students to get to the library
  • Get some actually famous comedians for Comedy Night
  • Build a roof over the bridge over the lake near Vanbrugh
  • Pay lecturers so they stop bloody striking
  • Give us all free lined paper
  • And pens
  • Buy more sofas for the library
  • Buy beds for the library?
  • Install better ventilators in James College kitchens
  • Give out free condoms everyday of the week
  • Buy new mascot costumes for every college
  • Subsidise college merch
  • Have a day we can use water walking balls on the lake
  • Build another bridge in between the two existing bridges
  • Implement duck/geese-free zones
  • Buy more sports equipment
  • And improve their facilities
  • Buy mattress toppers for every bed on campus

Just a few ideas which could be better than a nightclub on campus.

YUSU Pres, Sam Macguire, told Vision:

“‘I would really like to know whether students would welcome an on-campus nightclub as there may be better options to spend £200,000 on than a nightclub. Please contact me on [email protected]

We’re saving him the time. ALL VOTE NOW PLEASE.

Do you want a club built on campus? Or would you rather have the union spend £200K elsewhere?