Uni make ‘shit’ plans to build club on campus

We have Willow, what else do we need


It’s been announced this week that people high up in the uni are considering spending £200K on a nightclub on campus.

But it’s divided opinon across campus with comments ranged from “exciting” to “absolutely shit.”

The inevitable

The inevitable

Here is a list of things we came up with that could be done with that £200,000

  • Increase funding for societies
  • Buy more books for the library so everyone on your course isn’t fighting over the only three copies
  • Get rid of the asbestos in Derwent
  • Subsidise taxis for Halifax students to get to the library
  • Get some actually famous comedians for Comedy Night
  • Build a roof over the bridge over the lake near Vanbrugh
  • Pay lecturers so they stop bloody striking
  • Give us all free lined paper
  • And pens
  • Buy more sofas for the library
  • Buy beds for the library?
  • Install better ventilators in James College kitchens
  • Give out free condoms everyday of the week
  • Buy new mascot costumes for every college
  • Subsidise college merch
  • Have a day we can use water walking balls on the lake
  • Build another bridge in between the two existing bridges
  • Implement duck/geese-free zones
  • Buy more sports equipment
  • And improve their facilities
  • Buy mattress toppers for every bed on campus

Just a few ideas which could be better than a nightclub on campus.

YUSU Pres, Sam Macguire, told Vision:

“‘I would really like to know whether students would welcome an on-campus nightclub as there may be better options to spend £200,000 on than a nightclub. Please contact me on [email protected]

We’re saving him the time. ALL VOTE NOW PLEASE.

Do you want a club built on campus? Or would you rather have the union spend £200K elsewhere?