Long queues, broken rides and Tidal Wave: everything you experienced on a summer trip to Thorpe Park

Colossus always gave you whiplash

Going to Thorpe Park is a crucial component of the Southern teenager’s summer holiday. While it’s hardly got the same rep as Universal Studio’s, it definitely tries.

The long, sweaty queues and broken rides might make it just a bit shit, but we’d be lying if we said we didn’t love a trip to Thorpe Park. There’s only one Nemesis Inferno.

It didn’t matter how early you got there, the ticket queues would be fucking massive

You could literally arrive at 4.30pm the day before and you’d still be waiting two hours to buy a ticket. By the time you’d snail-trailed your way to the ticket booth you had to pray you still had that 2 for 1 voucher your mum cut out the Crunchy Nut box. If not, you were in for a 30-something quid shocker.

That might not sound too bad now given that it’s nearly double the price, but when you were working with saved up lunch money: times were tough.

You’d be ridiculously excited about the new ride

When Thorpe Park announced a new ride, you knew you had to go. You’d be planning your first ride the minute you walked through the gates. Your mum might have said that “it was just another rollercoaster.” But you knew she was wrong because the advert had told you so. Saw the Ride was going to be iconic.

As you had correctly put it to her: “It’s the first of it’s kind in the UK mum – THE FIRST OF IT’S KIND.”

By the time you’d get in, the queues would be ridiculous

Thinking you might make up for lost time, you’d sprint across the bridge and through that big blue dome, but there was no point. You thought you might be able to ride Stealth before the crowds arrived, but by the time you reach the info chart that queue’s already three hours. Lol.

It would be cold AF but you’d still end up on Tidal Wave

It didn’t matter if it was 12 degrees or pissing down with rain, the way you saw it, it was summer and water rides were made for summer.

You’d realise you’d made a foolish mistake when you ended up freezing for the rest of the day. Despite being pretty sure you’d gotten a mild case of pneumonia, you’d pull your squelching socks up and carry on for the next six hours in your soaking underwear.

You’d find out that one of your mates actually hates rides on the day

There would always be that one friend that went a bit quiet and started to look a bit queasy after two or three rides. The minute you start to look at one of the really big rides on the map, the truth starts unfolding. They never liked rides at all, in fact they’re terrified of rollercoasters.

In that instant you realise that no one can be trusted in this life, especially people who lie about having gone on all the big rides at Alton Towers three times last summer.

Every time you got to the front of a ride, it broke

There it would be, one of the big rollercoasters. Back in the day, before we experienced the three-pound Fastrack ticket, the two hour queue couldn’t be avoided. But you knew it’d be worth it the minute you stepped inside the entrance.

You saw the barriers, the carriages pulling in and you’d literally be about to squeal with excitement. The promise of a thrilling ride and the chance to sit down after more than two hours is actually too much to handle.

But suddenly you’d see that look of confusion on the ride controller’s face and realise things have stopped moving. A couple of moments later you’d hear the dreaded: “ladies and gentlemen we’re experiencing some technical difficulties.”

They may as well have just ripped out your 14 year-old heart and stomped all over it.

Colossus would give you a serious case of whiplash

Colossus was undoubtedly one of the best rides at Thorpe Park, but that’s mainly because you’d be known as a legend if you made it off without a snapped neck.

You’d always make time for Logger’s Leap

Did you even go to Thorpe Park if you didn’t get a picture on Logger’s Leap? Even though you knew what was coming, the pitch black drop in the middle of the ride would never fail to catch you off guard. Younger generations will never know of its wonders.

X: No Way Out would be so shit but so good

No, we’re not talking about the lame, Ibiza house remake ride, X. The original X: No Way Out was so unbelievably shit that it was actually iconic. It never had any queues and went 10 mph at the most.

Because it went backwards it had to stop every two minutes when the train ran out of steam, which gave you the perfect amount of time to update your BBM name to “Thorpe Prk w/ gracie, mel and haz <3”

Thorpe Park might not be the best theme park in the world, but it fucking made our summers.