Everything your student car says about you

‘Your KA will break down at any moment, just like your you at university’

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Getting your first car is an important milestone in anyone’s life, so like most people you’ve probably had it since College or Sixth Form.

You might have learned to drive in it, maybe even had your first accident in it, shared a romantic night under the stars with your school crush. Now you’ve brought it to uni and it’s a whole new world for the two of you.

But what does your car say about you? Here are a few of the classics that you can see up and down the country, city to campus, and everyone knows someone with ‘that car.’

The cheap and cheerful two-door

This one is a classic. Most student cars embody the mentality of cheap and cheerful. However likely it is to break down at any moment, just like your you at university. It’s still reliable enough for you to pull a three-point turn or safely pick up your drunk parents, who have rediscovered their social life ever since you’ve gone to uni. Double points if you’ve got a Ford KA.

The daddy’s girl   

This car must be accompanied by girls stepping out of their Convertible Mini or Fiat 500, with a Micheal Kors handbag, sunglasses, and no idea of the crippling debt of most other students. That’s you isn’t it ? You’re almost certainly unaware of your burden-less existence and are the envy of everyone who lays eyes on you. Your only complaint is “why is psychology such a hard degree? and maybe the traffic on your way home.

The completely unnecessary 4×4

The irony of this car is that it is rarely seen at universities because your parents would be scared of what the plebs might do to it. But you didn’t back down, threatening not to go to uni at all if you don’t get to drive your horrendously out of place 4×4.

You’ve probably scraped the edges in your car because driving in the tight lanes of university car parks is nothing like going above the national speed limit in the Kent countryside. When you offer your mates a lift in for a 9am, they suddenly see you in a whole new light. They can’t fathom the fact that your car has four doors, central locking and suspension. A no claims bonus means nothing to you, because if you crash, the family driver will come and collect you.

The Boy Racer

This started out as yet another version of the classic student car but with your marijuana-addled brain, you thought that what this thing really needed was a neon green spoiler, some racing stripes and bucket seats. If you can’t light your joint off the fire coming out of your exhaust, then the car just isn’t worth having. I mean how else are you meant to get decent wheel-spin in a Tesco car park, without your ‘supercharged’ engine in your ten-year-old Nissan?

The ‘I actually belong in a skip’ hand-me-down

It’s normally bigger than most student cars, it’s proved itself as a loyal beast of burden for many years.  Although those many years of loyal service are probably taking a toll, you have many fond childhood memories of this car, it’s ‘quirky’ nature has made it the butt of many of your friends’ jokes and yet you can’t help but love it. You know it belongs in a skip, but you know you won’t find another car with the same charm.

Why do you have a Truck?

No joke someone actually uses this as their student car…

This one is pretty self-explanatory, and raises a lot more questions than it answers. Yes, I can imagine it does make packing up your room at the end of the year very easy. But why is there mud all over the tires when you live in a student town?

Where do you go at one o’clock in the morning? Why do you have so much duct-tape? All of these questions are raised because if you’re not an American student from a southern state, you’re most likely a serial killer.

A white ‘get in the van’ 

Unless you work as a DJ, technician or a professional kidnapper, having a white van is just asking for trouble. Don’t get surprised when someone calls the police on you, because it’s bound to happen. Seriously, why do you have a van?