Every tragic stage of a Warwick night out at Kasbah

If you’ve dared to venture out the bubble and risk the chance of social interaction with Coventry students, then you’re definitely one of Warwick’s bravest.

Kasbah is a gem, the golden apple of every hardcore Warwick clubber’s eye. Underrated by many but never under-loved by those who frequent it, Kasbah is guaranteed to be a good night out because it’s got everything you could ever need.

Here is every tragic stage of a Warwick night out at Kasbah.

Spend the whole of pre-drinks arguing over what time you should leave

Jack will insist that you have to arrive within five minutes of Kasbah opening or you will be swamped in a sea of Coventry students and die a slow, painful death. Sarah will be absolutely certain that there is no need to arrive any time before 1am and Hassan will plead with you to give in and go to the more conventional Copper Rooms or Leamington instead.

Leave just late enough to miss the Uni-express and end up arguing with a cab driver over £2

Your pres get so out of hand, that you completely lose track of the time. You run out to the piazza, just to see the steamy Uniexpress driving away. Panicked, you opt for a taxi with your flat but they’re all super expensive. For some reason you seem to think running between taxis at the rank will help your situation in any way. It won’t. The taxi drivers are all best mates and they’re all gonna charge you £15.

Pay extra for a queue jump ticket only to find there’s NO QUEUE

You’ll want to kill Tennis Club for scamming you out of another quid when you turn up to nothing but tumbleweeds in the queue.

Get a paint job

Insist that getting some really crap face paint is the only way forward and queue for ages to get it done.

Spend at least an hour in the smoking area

It doesn’t matter if you smoke or not, by the end of the night you’ll be a literal chimney. The smoking area in Kasbah is the place to be seen with an infamous array of tables that are perfect for a cute group picture or a cheeky snog while your mates party inside.

Get as many J-Bombs and 80p shots as you can

Even though you may question whether what you drank was peach schnapps, you’ll continue to chug it because it’s 80p. When it comes to J-Bombs it’s one every 10 minutes and by the end of the night you’re higher than a kite on a fake energy drink. Regret will only sink in the next morning when you’re laid by a toilet bowl and the smell plagues your nostrils.

Experience Pop 2.0

You’ll swear you’ve been transported to the Copper Rooms when you hear the beginning of Mambo No.5. Only Kasbah can go from Fetty Wap to S club 7 without a blink. Seamless and beautiful.

Spend an age queueing for the toilet

You will try so hard to avoid awkward eye contact with the toilet attendant while queuing that you nearly break your neck. In the end you spend a little longer peeing because you’re really enjoying hearing gossip from the Coventry students in the cubicle next door, it’s just like Hollyoaks.

Burger Bar

You can’t walk straight but the bright lights of the burger bar are screaming your name. In the magic land of the smoking area lies a place where you can get your post club grub, in the club. Forget getting Vialli’s, Kasbah’s burgers are in a league of their own.

Get some free toast

After you’ve wasted your cab money on chips and a burger you’ll hobble back into the lobby only to find you could have just bagged some free toast. It’s fine, at least you’re walking home with some food to soak up those 80p shots.

You have the best night ever

If the J-Bombs don’t leave you locked in a toilet cubicle, you’ll be next to the stage cutting shapes to your favourite songs. You will embarrass yourself for sure but at least you will do so having the time of  your life. Forget the limestone buildings of Leamington spa and the convenience of The Copper Rooms, a big night at Kasbah is where it’s at.

Images provided by Kasbah Club.