Average guy tries dating

Average Guy talks us through his valentines’ experience

A few days have now passed since Valentine’s Day. People say that you are required to put a lot of thought into the day. I certainly did. Do you know how hard it is to come up with different handwriting styles in all the letters I sent to myself?! I appreciate that your admirers are meant to be secret, but all mine seem to be a little too secret and will not reveal themselves!

I thought I would be tactical about Valentine’s Day this year. A few years back, my labours were about to pay off; flowers: £10, chocolates: £5, dinner for two in a restaurant: £45. The look on my face when she tells me she is on: priceless. In an effort to maximise my chances, I tactically texted and casually liked the statuses of girls I knew to be single to remind them that I was still there.

Unfortunately on Valentine’s Day, I was ill so one lucky lady in Warwick missed out on getting paired up with me at Smack. I could have gone out  but I was nice and decided against spreading my germs – the only thing I am willing to give a girl is a distinctly average time.

I did not want to waste my evening. I thought about posting a funny status about Valentine’s Day but then I realised that if I was really that humorous, I wouldn’t have been in my room alone…in my boxers taking full advantage of the free Premium Access to a certain website.

This Valentine’s Day has taught me one thing: if you go on these websites your cookies change the sort of YouTube adverts you receive. It has gone from suggested videos on how to fit a tampon, thanks to my love of JB and 1D (a surprise to me that their main fans are 13 year old girls) to mature dating sites.

The editor of the Tab felt sorry for me after reading my first draft of this column, so for the happiness of one of the team, he suggested that CVs for potential girlfriends should be sent to [email protected]. He, unlike me, is not worried that the server may crash with the number sent in.