On-campus vs. off-campus

Why’s it so much better to be living on-campus?

By Benjamin Anderson 

For one thing, all you have to pay for is your accommodation! You don’t have to pay insurance and utility bills. Therefore, you don’t have to worry about things like your water or electricity being shut off.

Whilst you don’t have to pay for all your utilities, you are still offered the service of a porter 24/7. If you have a problem then you have someone available to help, day and night. If your shower isn’t working or a bunch of fannies are shouting and screaming outside you can go and see your porter and they will sort it out within a couple of minutes. Unlike off-campus, where if you have a broken shower you have to wait until the landlord is available to contact a repairman.

Not to mention the amazing scenery

Living on-campus is also great for convenience. You could literally roll out of bed and be at class in five minutes. Off-campus you are waking up earlier to get a bus and then hoping the bus is on time, which of course it isn’t. Not only that, but on your front door step you have the gym, the library, the swimming pool and a restaurant. What more do you want?

While on-campus may cost that little bit more, just think of the benefits you’re receiving in turn.

Why’s it so much better to be living off-campus?

By Paul Connolly 

Living in town is better than living on campus. First of all, the people are better. Case in point- town has Scotty the tramp, and campus has Gerry McCormac. One is a poorly dressed, annoying man who’s always asking for more money, and the other is Scotty the tramp.

The food is better in town too; we have like five different restaurants to get pizza from with countless different tastes. Campus only has one place to get pizza, with one taste, cardboard.

Then there’s the shopping. Despite the exciting uncertainty of the Asian food section in the campus shop, there’s very little choice, but in town there’s an Aldi/Iceland for the poor among us, a Tesco/Sainsbury’s for the middle class, and a Waitrose for the people who just don’t fit in.

So many students flock to town that it feels like part of the campus anyway

One of the best things about living in town is the absence of a Chad. Your Chad may go by a different name such as Blake or Trent, but will always be the same skin crawling douchebag you meet in halls. The guy who says “Exams are tomorrow, hey I know lets play loud music and keep everybody up cos YOLO”.  Chad can often be found uploading pictures of his weights to instagram, walking around topless, and/or challenging freshers to ‘down it’.

Most importantly, if you live on campus- the walk home from Fubar on a Tuesday or Thursday night is an hour long epic. So much so that when you finally reach your bed you’ll feel like Frodo on that big-ass volcano, only colder, because the heating is down again.

What do you think?