An investigation: Where do all the forks in uni houses go?

What am I meant to eat my pesto pasta with??

Before starting first year, the majority of us went on a huge Asda shop with our parents to get a (very cheap) collection of everything you could possibly need at university, be it cups, plates, bowls, and most importantly – forks. I am certain I started the year with about three or four of them.

However, towards the end of the year, this essential utensil often starts to disappear. But where do they go? Who (or what) is the the sticky-fingered culprit.

Here’s what we think could have happened:

One of your housemates has them stashed

Personally, I am immediately suspicious of my housemates.

I’d start with checking their rooms. Maybe they used your fork for a midnight snack and have yet to return it to the kitchen and to its rightful owner. Maybe they added an elastic band and have been using it as a catapult. Maybe they have been using it as an instrument in a new percussion band. You never know.

No luck? Check under their beds. It may be accumulating dust and grime from their floors (that has never been hoovered in the 10 months you’ve been living there).

The dishwasher

This is probably the most sensible option.

Before running into a frenzy of accusation, check to see if you’ve just never emptied the dishwasher (oops).

Lenton Squirrels

It may sound far-fetched, but its perfectly in reason to suspect a squirrel of taking your forks. Or Magpies. They just look like thieves. Why do they have little hands? They are for stealing forks.

People coming over stealing them

As I have mentioned, the mystery of the missing forks is a common problem. Your housemate’s boyfriend that has a thieving look in his eye…A friend that came to visit from home that has a tendency to borrow items?

Make sure you trust anyone ever invited into your house and that they do not have a history of utensil stealing. Background checks are essential.

Behind the sofa or under the sofa

I’d recommend looking here for anything that goes missing in the house.

You’re likely to find a lot more than a few forks. (Maybe even that top that you accused a housemate of stealing)

Related titles recommended by this author:

• Five things you can do in Notts from May 17th

• NTU is live streaming Falcon chicks that are nesting in it’s Newton Building

• 10 ways to say you go to UoN without actually saying you go to UoN