10 ways to say you go to UoN without actually saying you go to UoN

You’re most definitely from London or Surrey

3 years ago

You’re finally at university, a way to express yourself and be who you are. Only to find you are in a sea of North Faces puffers, flares and boys with curtains and mullets at every turn. There really is no better way to stand out from the crowd than flexing your sports team on your PlayerLayer or having your own individually designed tote bag.

Home to almost 90% of Surrey and London, you will be sure to find yourself as a true midlander at heart and what better place to do that than in Nottingham. With your new self about you, as soon as you get home you will be missing the trams and bragging about the ease of them in the city.

Here is a compiled list of things that are so quintessentially UoN that if you do any of them, people will immediately know you go to uni of without you having to say so.

You live in the Lenton Triangle

You’ve done it. You have sorted your second and third year house and where better to live than the Lenton triangle itself.

Home to one of the most expensive Sainsbury’s in the country and just a short brisk walk to Booze Busters, the haven of all corner shops. Also, the added bonus of it being riddled with UoN students means you are never far from your friends.

Hallward vs George Green is the hardest decision you’ve ever made

The biggest inner Uni of debate, do you prefer Hallward or George Green? If you aren’t a STEM student, going into George Green is almost uncharted territory for you.

Drowning in calculators and compasses, your books on Tort Law or medieval poetry won’t suit. Worst comes to worse, Monica Partridge is always a good middle ground for all you BA and BSc Geographers.

Forget the 34, you take a Wind scooter everywhere

The biggest and newest trend to grace UoN, the scooters. Arguably the best thing since sliced bread, these scooters can get you from A to B or to escape a goose chasing you in no time.

However, they are probably best to go around lakeside on them, I can’t imagine it’d be a fun ride uphill.

You make weekly meal card trips to Spar

One of the many perks of catered halls: the meal card. At the end of the week you begin to wonder how you have saved so much money on your meal card, so what better than a trip to Spar?

Make sure you go early otherwise you are stuck with a poor selection of food and no smoothies to get you through the week. However, nothing is worse than seeing all the tastiest food needs to be cooked in an oven and realising your small pantry doesn’t have one.

You went to a private school

Drinking game! Take a shot every time you meet someone from a private school. Let’s be real, everyone you know is either from Surrey, Kent or London even if they say ‘just outside London’.

By the time you end up following them on Instagram, you will almost definitely have mutuals. Bonus points if you meet someone who has an accurate idea where the North starts and they’re not just referring to Watford.

You exclusively wear a North Face puffer and flares

North Face puffer? Check. Flares? Check. Throw in a PlayerLayer and there you have it, how to dress UoN style.

Good luck if you lose your friend because the entire student population is wearing these. If you like someones outfit be sure to admire from afar because it’s certain to be from Cow vintage or Depop meaning it is almost impossible to find.

You’ve been on a first date at Wollaton

Situated right next to campus, what better place to go for a walk than Wollaton Park; perfect for a Tinder date or trying to fight off that hangover from the night before.

Always a great place to show off on your Snapchat stories of you and your friends flexing that you are having a picnic at Wayne Manor from Batman.

You believe that your hall is superior

With the new way to actually choose halls before joining the uni, hall superiority is bigger than ever before.

Your entire personality trait revolves around this and will forever be a part of you, there’s no escaping it. Whether you embrace the classy Hugh-Stewart in you or love the shitty Beeston hall in you, just be thankful you’re not in Rutland.

You get your lunch from Portland everyday

After battling going up the downs, what better way to celebrate and satiate your hunger than going more steps to the food court. Then comes the hard part, choosing what to eat; do you go for the classic Love Joes or the pizza place?

Maybe that’s not for you and you decide to wait for a toastie from the popular Portland Coffee. The easily pleased among us, however, are happy to settle for a humble Spar meal deal.

You have an unexplained hatred for Trent

If whenever someone asks you which uni in Notts you go to and you make it very clear it’s UoN and not Trent then you’re probably a first year student.

Half of freshers seem to think that hating Trent is a replacement for a personality but once you’re out of halls and widening your social network you realise Trent students aren’t half bad.

There it is, a definite list to solidify your uni of status. Wear it with pride because you can never escape it.