Nancy Rothwell to erect a statue of herself on Manchester Uni campus

Some students have already planned an ‘egg-throwing competition’

Off the back of losing a recent vote of no confidence, Manchester’s Vice Chancellor Nancy Rothwell is looking to find new ways to cement her legacy at the university before it’s too late.

Her latest idea, a bronze statue of herself predicted to cost as much as £89,000.

The sculpture is planned to be placed in the main quad, behind the Whitworth building on Oxford Road.

Famous Manchester alumni including Alan Turing, Ernest Rutherford, and Jennifer Saunders were all also considered for statues. Yet the university management decided that Nancy Rothwell’s contributions surpassed all of them.

It has been revealed that the statue will ironically come with its own barrier of fencing, to deter potential vandals.

One student we spoke to said they were already planning a “mass egg-throwing competition” to take aim at the controversial statue. The winner will receive a ride on the back of Boombox Barry’s bike.

The money for the statue is expected to come in-part from funds that were previously allocated to students now canceled graduation ceremony.

Nancy has instead invited those who won’t be able to graduate this year to come to the unveiling of her new bronze statue.

A supporter of Nancy, Tarquin Dapiss defended the statue as a “testimony to Nancy’s hard work in bolstering UoM’s reputation across the world”. He claimed that few Vice Chancellors have generated as much media coverage for the university’s work as Nancy has.

The artist contracted for the piece, Iver Noushame is allegedly blacklisted by several art galleries for previous work for regimes with a track-record of suppressing democracy.

One insider-source even claims that this design is in fact a compromise: “Initially Nancy was asking whether it would be possible to mount giant busts of the current senior management across the front of Whitworth Hall in a sort of shit Mount Rushmore-esque monstrosity”

“Luckily people intervened to clarify this would be well out of the budget.

“Someone did even ask how much we would have to pay Parklife to allow Nancy on stage for a speech.”

Our source refused to say whether Nancy had considered the potential of sharing the stage with AJ Tracey.

Before you head off to ASDA to grab your supplies for the egg-throwing competition, you should probably check the date. Happy April Fool’s!

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