14 Easy Locktails to help pass the Quarantime

Tried and tested to the Unsworth Park standard

Now that we’re five weeks deep into lockdown, you’ll probably have seen on Instagram the numerous ways people have tried to keep themselves sane. We’re talking pub quizzes, baking, 5k challenges, and of course; making cocktails. Below is an essential guide to the best and worst cocktails you could possibly make during these unprecedented times. If you’re really basic and dream of being a mixologist then don’t click away! This article is about to change your life.

1. Pina Colada

Pre-lockdown I was a pina colada virgin. Now I couldn’t picture life without them. Mix together one part white rum, one part coconut milk and two parts pineapple and coconut juice. Stir in a scoop of vanilla ice cream or a tablespoon of vanilla yoghurt for added pina-perfection and serve with a slice of pineapple. Welcome to paradise.

Rating: 5/5

If you like pina coladaaasss, and getting caught in the rain.

2. Aperol Spritz

With just one sip, we were whisked away from the safe walls of Unsworth and taken on an Italian adventure. Arrivederci Fallowfield. All you need is Aperol and a bottle of prosecco (a lockdown necessity). Add both in equal amounts over ice, with a splash of soda water if you’re feeling fancy, and hey presto! Your one-way ticket out of quarantine is ready. Buon viaggio!

Rating: 4/5

Ready in a prosecc-ond.

3. Cosmopolitan

Basic, but a very strong contender. Shake together one part triple sec and one part cranberry juice with two parts vodka and you’re all sorted.

Rating: 3/5

Drank most of it already.. sorry not sorry.

4. Raspberry Cosmopolitan

The cosmopolitans’ fun and edgy younger sister who is probably downing vodka in a field somewhere. The main ingredients are vodka and prosecco; absolute essentials in these strange and uncertain times. Pour two shots of vodka over ice with a splash of lime juice and top up with prosecco and raspberries. Pleasing to the eye but not the palate. The fruity aesthetic didn’t make up for the overpowering taste of alcohol. Grab me a sick bucket.

Rating: 1/5

Werq it for the camera.

5. Jungle Bird

Rule number one to making a boss ass cocktail? Pour it in a pineapple. Brilliant, show stopping, totally unique, completely not ever been done before. Mix together two parts dark rum and pineapple juice, and one part Campari and simple syrup and then grab your pineapple stein. Am I in OP or Zombie Shack? Who knows.

Rating: 3/5

Tiki, do you love me?

6. Chocolate Martini

OH MY DAYS. This was to die for. It definitely has dessert vibes so I’m glad we saved the best till last. There wasn’t any chocolate liqueur lying around so we had to improvise with a mixture of melted chocolate and double cream. Pour two shots of vodka and a shot of Baileys over ice and top up with the chocolate cream concoction and before you know it, you’ll be living your chocolate fantasy.

Rating: 5/5

Perfection in a glass.

7. Elderflower Collins

Tom Collins‘ distant and sophisticated cousin. Mix together one part lemon juice, one part sparkling elderflower presse, two parts gin, and five parts soda water and garnish with a slice of lemon. It tasted like a bog-standard gin and tonic with a splash of summer.

Rating: 2/5

5/10 would recommend.

8. Bramble

Definitely one to flex on your Instagram story. Add two shots of gin, 30 ml lemon juice, and 10 ml sugar syrup to ice and then drizzle with Cassis De Dijon. Garnish with blackberries for one of your five a day.

Rating: 4/5

Ice, ice baby.

9. April In Paris

Despite having over a weeks’ notice, one cocktologist failed to prepare anything for our Locktail night. Passive aggression aside, he threw together this fruity gem within a few minutes (with a little help from Google and everyone else’s dwindling alcohol supply). If you want to spend the remainder of April in the city of love follow this simple recipe. Two shots of vodka. 25 ml of sparkling elderflower presse. A splash of lemon juice. A teaspoon of marmalade. Shaken. Not stirred. Top up with soda water and garnish with orange peel and serve.

Rating: 4/5

Amish, we forgive you.

10. Vanilla Egg Nog

Don’t be put off by the egg. This tastes just like a boozey vanilla milkshake. Shake together two shots of white rum, a shot of milk and cream, a splash of simple syrup and vanilla extract, and an egg before serving over ice.

Rating: 4/5

Ice cream parlour realness.

11. Yellow Fairy

This little number was created by our flats token Gordon Ramsey. He mixed two shots of gin and one shot of tequila with 30 ml of lemon juice and a teaspoon of honey and mustard. Yes, you heard me right. Mustard. If you really need to know what this tasted like, try to imagine someone scraping the inside of a hamburger into a Bloody Mary. And Serve. I could only handle one sip. In a perfect situation I could’ve used the excuse that I’d had too much to drink and couldn’t finish it, but this was the first cocktail of the night. He really set the bar high..

Rating: -2/5

Never again.

12. Pomegranate Daiquiri

After coming clean, he made me another drink. Such a sweetie. This twist on the classic daiquiri was another one of his creations. To recreate this bev, stir four parts of dark rum with two parts of pomegranate juice and lemon juice. Sprinkle with sumac and golpar if you have any going spare for an aromatic and tangy aftertaste. The strong flavour did a good job at hiding the fact that this drink was mostly rum. Batten down the hatches maties, you’re about to be three sheets to the wind.

Rating: 4/5

Yummy rummy.

13. Raspberry Cheesecake

I didn’t think anything could top the chocolate martini. Con-drink-ulations cheesecake you are the winner of this weeks drinking session. Shake together a shot of vodka and Chambord with a tablespoon of cream cheese and two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Mix with crushed ice and say hello to your new guilty pleasure.

Rating: 5/5

Wheres the buttery, biscuit base?

14. Strawberry Gin Smash

It’s exactly how it sounds. Strawberries, Gin, and you’ll be getting smashed. Pour three shots of gin and add a splash of lime juice and half a teaspoon of sugar. Top up with soda water and strawberries that you left to soak in gin for a few hours. Gin appetit.

Rating: 3/5

100% candid and not staged at all.

To be honest, these ratings are up for debate as there’s not much I can remember passed the first few cocktails. I guess you’ll have to make them all and see for yourself.