Every type of person you will meet on a night out in Loughborough

Like all university towns, Loughborough is home to an array of interesting creatures each with distinctive personality traits.

These specimens often move in packs and can be identified by their shared and often bizarre behaviours.

Here’s a cynical guide about how to spot some of these campus tribes.

The rugby boy

Perhaps the most revered and feared tribe in Luf’s animal kingdom. You’re most likely to see this sporting elite on a Wednesday night, saying things like “I used to play harlequins academy” or “I’m taking a year off, i’ll play next year”. Due to the size of these literally larger than life characters and frequent tribalistic chanting about the colour purple, you’ll be able to identify a member of this clique a mile off. Unless initiated into this primal group the best option is to probably avoid the vomit splash back and give a wide berth.

The hockey girl

Next in line – often literally – is the hockey girl. These gym-clad females can usually be found on the periphery of rugby corner attracting a mate with the use of nike lycra sports shorts. These girls will almost always look like they are on there way either to or from training. Don’t be fooled by their good looks. however, as to pull one of these on a night out in Lough you’ll need your Sunday best rugby snapback and plenty of stories from that sick try you scored last season.

The Engineers

The Engineers are a slightly quieter bunch but roam in no smaller number. They can be easily identified through the amount of likes their shit yik yaks get, along with the hashtags #chemeng  #questionmaster. They can usually be spotted nursing a singular VK telling you how fucking easy your course is. To infiltrate this crazy bunch you’ll need a certificate of your Further Maths A* and a interest in the duller things in life. Also, don’t forget to leave early because of all the work you have to do.

The cool kids

These cultural gurus will usually be spotted with a roll up in hand talking about that sick night they had at Warehouse Project or Fabric. Often found dressed head to toe in something they bought from that vintage store in Amsterdam or that really slick Northface mac, these kids definitely don’t follow the crowd (because no-one’s ever worn a bold patterned shirt and Airmax before). To spend an evening with these enlightened few be prepared to talk about how excited you are for the next DBE and that progressive bassline in Ame’s latest banger.

Rich kids

You can see but not touch these divinely blessed individuals – mainly because of the VIP rope in the way. You’ll rarely have the pleasure of meeting  a member of this exclusive club, but if you do make sure you’ve got plenty cash in your account. This group of baller wannabes haven’t quite realised that nobody gives a shit about that trip to India they took on their gap year, but you’ll soon realise that they wont talk about much else. Just remember: these kids know how to party – I’ve heard one even spent a night in the same club as Jamie from MIC. You’ve been warned.

The guys who dress up

A staple of the Loughborough uni life, this category always seems to enjoy dressing up a little too much. If you’re the type of person that likes to be the centre of attention at all times then this group could be for you – but don’t forget to ask yourself what exactly are you trying to compensate for?

Hot girls 

Sorry, they have a boyfriend.