The quaran-dictionary: all the best and worst slang from the pandemic
I’m sorry Panny D will never not make me want to vomit
Whilst you thought that the toilet roll shortages and the pubs closing at 10 were the worst things to come out of the endless cycles of lockdowns, you thought wrong. It’s the Covid slang.
You can’t escape it, everyone is using it and even the ones that you really really hate start slipping off your tongue after a few days.
So here we have it, the quaran-dictionary, the Urban dictionary of Covid terms. Featuring some of the worst slang to come out of the English speaking world.
Definition: (noun) hand sanitiser
Was this one initially put forward by toddlers? Quite possibly, it’s just not necessary. Also I get that it comes from ‘antibacterial gel’ but how did we narrow that down to ‘bacbac’.
Definition: (collective noun) people you date during corona times
It’s just WAY too close to Care Bears. I don’t care what you think but these should be plush soft toys, not the collective noun for everyone’s new lockdown hubby (refer below).
Definition: (noun) 1. a holiday during the time of coronavirus 2. a break from working or educational activities brought on by coronavirus
Sorry, but if you’re actually going on holiday you want to be forgetting about your worries and forgetting about the nightmare that is coronavirus. Stop the madness call it a holiday, a vacation even a bloody holibobs for god’s sake.
Definition: (noun) a colloquial abbreviation of coronavirus
Here we have someone’s tragic attempt at trying to make coronavirus sound like a boyband. I don’t think anyone dreams of having Coronie V serenade them with love songs like: ‘The Story of my virus’, ‘You and vIrus’ and ‘Lockdown Changes’.
No no, let’s stop this one right now.
Definition: (noun) refers to an individual who has acted in a notably stupid manner stimulated by coronavirus
Covidiot, HA it was great until the Tories started using it bash the youth. We are NOT covidiots because we got forced to go back to university @ Boris and all your other Tory pals. YOU are the covidiots for sending us back in the first place.
Definition: (noun) a friendly colloquialism of coronavirus
This one is designed to make Covid seem like a ‘non-threat’, you know, just the ‘cozza’ nothing to worry about. Well I mean actually, there’s quite a lot to worry about.
Definition: 1. (noun) refers to hand sanitiser 2. (verb) ‘to handsansisco’ the act of sanitising
Both are awful, anyone who says these just go and tap yourself out of life and come back when you can be mature enough to use such vulgar language.
HANDSANSISCO COME ON PEOPLE
Definition: (noun) the dwelling in which you are forced to lockdown
The fun word you use on the first couple of days of your quarantine to make it sound nice and fun, and non-threatening. The longer the quarantine duration, the more ominous the term becomes and you start to believe that maybe you are trapped in the remote regions of Antarctica rather than in your bedroom.
Definition: (noun) another nickname denoting coronavirus
God, just stop- just as coronavirus was not the latest boyband its also not Lil’ Xan’s cousin.
Definition: 1. (noun) another term for ‘Lockdown’ 2. (verb) the act of locking down
I am sure when Sadiq Khan decided to put London into lockdown this morning he chose to address the city stating ‘We need to locky d boys’.
Definition: (noun) the love of your life that you met during the lockdown
A lockdown hubby is more than just a relationship, they are your lifeline. They are the person that you didn’t meet in person for months because you met on Hinge during the earlier months of the Pandemic and now you just have a deep and unshakable bond with each other.
Definition: (feminine proper noun) one of the gender classified nouns on the list synonymous with coronavirus
Someone definitely came up with this watching Drag Race, if there isn’t a queen in Season 13 that goes by ‘Miss Rona’ I will be disappointed.
Another friendly term to deceive you into thinking that Covid really isn’t that bad because its much nicer to hear that Miss Rona ruined your plans instead of coronavirus.
Definition: (feminine proper noun) the other gender classified noun. 1. synonymous with quarantine itself 2. denotes someone who is in quarantine
Oh boy, this is a fun one. Calling your pals Miss ‘tine’ is a really fun way to fuck them off when they are trapped inside after testing positive.
Can also be used to talk about when quarantine wrecks your plans, ‘darn it Miss ‘tine.
Maybe everything about coronavirus is more manageable if you say it in a deep south accent?
Definition: 1. (noun) refers to a party, gathering or rave that takes place during lockdown 2. (noun) refers to a chaotic event that occurred due to coronavirus.
If you’re breaking lockdown to have a rave, please for the love of God don’t go and call it Pandemonium, your not in Milton’s Paradise Lost and you’re definitely too much of a dickhead to be calling it this.
Referring to an event such as the toilet roll shortage on the other hand as ‘pandemonium’ is not just funny, it’s punny. So give yourself a pat on the back for this great decision.
Defintion: (noun) imported from Australia this term denotes the pandemic
Australians, being Australians, physically cannot string a sentence together without putting ‘o’ on the end of something’.
Just envision the scenes: ‘bit gutted, my dingo’s only gone and got the panno’ 🙁
How should we feel about this term being adopted on our Queen’s English soils? Upset. Honestly, just deeply deeply saddened. Take your Auzzie nonsense back down under.
Definition: (noun) British term denoting the pandemic
Gonna hand the mic over to Luce at this point:
just seen someone refer to the pandemic as the panny d and it’s ruined my fucking week before it’s even hit 12 on monday
— luce 🦇 $4.20 OF (@babyscrambles) October 12, 2020
Definition: (noun) a term referring to an individual who has multiple sexual partners during a pandemic
Should we be saying no to quaran-hoes? Quite frankly, yes. Stop sharing germs with everyone and being proud of it.
Multiple sexual partners, go for it. Multiple sexual partners in a pandemic, maybe not so much?
Definition: (noun) a term referencing your new partner for quarantine
Typically a quaranbae is a more long term partner than a quaranting (explained below). Still putting quaran in front of bae did not make it any less gross.
Definition: (noun) a term referencing your new partner for quarantine
Unlike a quaranbae a quaranting is a short term solution to your lockdown woes. In being a ‘ting’ you accept your short term, not deep status with each other.
Definition: (plural noun) drinks that you have in a lockdown setting
If you are having drinks whilst locked down, whether it is with your household or via zoom with your pals they are widely referred to as quaratinis to add that little titbit of coronavirus sparkle!
Definition: (noun) the most common abbreviation of coronavirus
It came, it saw, it conquered. It is still the supreme piece of coronavirus slang. Nothing will ever beat ‘the rona’, EVER.
Definition: (noun) an individual who is incredibly single because of coronavirus
You not only can’t see your friends because of the lockdown but you’re also SO single. To be given ronaloner status is truly tragic, however, sometimes it seems better to be a ronaloner than to deal with the commitment of a Lockdown Hubby.
Definition: (verb) the action of completing your dissertation during a lockdown
If you’ve not heard this one, did you deactivate your social media entirely for the months of April and May? Thanks to every finalist who posted a classic diss submission photo with the same caption. We get it ‘social diss-stancing’ HA HA HA you’re so witty and original.
— The Tab (@TheTab) May 16, 2020
Definition: (noun) another covid abbreviation
Another one invented by the toddlers or linguistic specialists would argue by the Mycenean Greeks 4000 years ago (pre-empting coronavirus obvs) with their syllabic writing system.
The roro needs to go go.
Definition: (noun) denoting when you have contracted coronavirus
If you have the roneys you’re in contagion central. Typically this term is given to people who are suffering symptomatically because you got it bad, and now people are saying you’ve got the Roney’s god help you.
Definition: (noun) abbreviation of pandemic
SORRY A GLOBAL PANDEMIC IS NOT A CHILDREN’S TV SHOW CHARACTER!
If you haven’t seen Andy Pandy, go away and watch it to appreciate how truly wrong this terminology is.
Definition: (proper noun)
Last but not least, we have the Wuhan Wheezer. This first arrived on the scene before coronavirus had hit the UK shores and oh it was SO funny that people were wheezy because of a virus that was a very long way away.
Now, the Wuhan Wheezer is rampaging the nation and is not some sort of Chinese brand of nos.
Change COVID 19 to The Wuhan Wheezer
— Parker (@Parker961) May 11, 2020
So there we have it, the absolute worst pieces of coronavirus slang that should be canned and never said again.