All hail: the uni gym is the best gym in Edinburgh
It’s cheaper, friendlier, and better
We might have all postponed our athletic career to the next life, but nonetheless, once in a while we all get that passing aspiration of going to the gym and finally getting that Miley Cyrus/ Christopher Mason body. No wonder that, in order to make the whole experience pleasant and not be the only one dying on the racetrack , people throw themselves in a futile search of the right sport facility.
Futile, because the university CSE gym will always be your best bet, no matter how hard you try to deny it. And here is why.
Because paying the price of full year membership at the CSE gym for 4 months at the one next door is not fancy. You might also be considered a bit snobbish and the “it’s just closer to my house” excuse won’t work, because aren’t you supposed to be all excited about some extra exercise? Because that is exactly how you lose weight (by doing some extra physical activity)!
Admit it, you can’t distinguish Matrix from TechnoGym, and you don’t need hardcore equipment, used by professional bodybuilders, because you do law at Uni and you’re trying to become the new Harvey Specter, not Rocky. By going to small 24h working gyms you condemn yourself to lift weights next to a pro, who doesn’t skip his trainings to chill in bed with Sainsbury’s cookies. After 30 minutes of exercising side by side with those Gym Kings, you start feeling a bit down, and your attempt to become fit start looking a bit pathetic.
Maybe, you should have gone to the Uni Gym on the first place, and did some muscle-toning movements next to a third year Philosophy student. Because he would get your struggle. And maybe you’d relate to each other, and become gym buddies. Because who doesn’t want a gym buddy?
Facilities and Activities
Swimming, squash, basketball… the uni gym has it all. The possibilities are endless, unlike in other gyms, where you only have ‘those’ fitness machines, that make you feel like you are in a future reality, where you have to cycle to power surroundings and generate currency. The uni gym has a soul and doesn’t have a rule saying that you have to pay 2 extra pounds for your Zumba class.
Not to forget, that together with all the possible machines, equipment and courts it does have good showers and, even better, saunas. But remember, that Finish people prefer to use the latter naked.
You actually have to meet people
Which you already probably avoid, if you prefer to sneak to the gym at 1 AM, when the only person you could meet there is a night guard ,and do cardio in a face covering hoodie. If it’s not depression, than you could get your shit together and face the reality by going to a place, where you could, yes, run into some of your acquaintances and maybe even chat with them. It is of no dispute that we all look like shit, sweating and exercising, but it’s also not like someone who is dying on the stair mill next to you will judge.
The uni gym is so huge anyway that you could easily escape from your crush, who you are probably not all that excited to see at that particular moment, while doing upward- facing dog. Although, he probably will be too busy imagining himself looking like a guy from a protein ad, while struggling with those weights, so not that he’ll notice.
All in all, the uni gym is a perfect choice from all possible perspectives, so stop wasting your time and money, and come join the rest of us instead of sweating away in a gym that’s worse and twice as expensive.