What you won’t miss about Durham
The last term of my long four years is upon me. HOORAY. But fellow finalists, don’t be sad. Here are all the things we won’t have to put up with anymore…
Seeing your exes
On the way to lectures, in Klute, on Tinder, they just won’t go away. Not only your exes, but also that guy you got with once three years ago but you can’t remember his name, so you just refer to him by the DU sport he uses as a substitute for a personality (Croquet man, I’m looking at you). You see them in Tescos the morning after you got with them, over the shoulder of your next almost ex-boyfriend while necking in Nova, and they’re still up bright and early to make sure they’re in your eye line in Bill Bryson.
Work is soooo boring. Oh meh gawd. And it goes on for ages, and there’s always more to do. And it’s so difficult! Of course you’ll have to do some work at some stage in your life after Durham probably, but instead of paying to do it, you’ll be paid to do it. #AMAZEBALLS.
How has it become that it is seen as “cool” to wear Bailey stash?! The colours are ugly and it doesn’t flatter. Gillets should only be acceptable if you are actually on a horse, and Jack Wills? Abercrombie? Hollister? I die. These brands are made for children, at best tweens. We’re grown-ups now… YAY.
Someone is always talking about rowing. The river is always too high or too low, no wait actually, it’s never too low because it’s always bloody raining. And, obviously, everyone else apart from the person talking about rowing has shit rowing tekkers. They’re always catching crabs or something, or someone was late, or the boat is broken. I literally couldn’t give a shit.
The big one. Unless you are excessively lucky you will have damp and mould. One appliance will be broken and you will probably have some kind of pest problem, most likely slugs. Your sofas will be that one from Ikea, which is surprisingly uncomfortable, either in denim or something else equally as offensive. The mattress will have mystery stains that you are not responsible for, and then there are those pesky people you live with, who always wash when you want to wash, shit when you want to shit, fuck when you want to…seriously though, come back Mummy and Daddy, all is forgiven!
But despite all of this, the essays and the awkwardness, there will probably be more things about Durham we will miss than we will not miss. We will probably never live this near to so many of our friends. It will never be as socially acceptable to get that drunk that regularly. The price for a four shot cocktail will never be that reasonable. And we will probably never be a student again. So cherish these last weeks finalists. These are the weeks nostalgic memories are made of!