Cambridge Blighted By Burglaries

Shocking police reports have revealed that Cambridge students suffered by ONE BURGLARLY EVERY TWO DAYS during the month of October.

This spate of thefts saw the average student robbed of goods to the tune of £700 to £800.

Sue Loaker, crime reduction officer for Cambridge Police, said that robbers take advantage of lax students leaving doors and windows unlocked. She warned, “Students might leave their rooms for just a few minutes, and, when they return, their stuff is gone.”

However, BRAZEN BURGLARS are increasingly BLATANT in their search for booty, and some thefts have even happened while victims were in their rooms.

Hugh Burling, a John’s theologian, had his laptop snatched whilst he slept on October 26th, while Trinity architect Ellie Measham CAUGHT A ROBBER RED-HANDED in her BEDROOM. 

Measham told the Tab, “I was in the room so didn’t think anything of having it unlocked. I was just doing my teeth when I heard a rustling in the sitting room. Thinking a bag had fallen over I casually strolled through to find a foreign man with a massive backpack on, rummaging through my jacket pocket. I yelled at him and asked him to leave, at which point he turned and ran.”

She added, “There have been loads of burglaries recently. A friend of mine in Trinity's Bishop's Hostel has been burgled twice with loads stolen – handbag, ipod, iphone, jewellery. Apparently someone actually came through her window.”

A spokesman for Cambridge Police reminded students to take advantage of existing security facilities, including the ability to register all valuables into a private portfolio.