Buzzfeed have made the lamest video about Freshers’ Week in Bristol
Breaking: students drink a lot
Clickbait kings Buzzfeed have outdone themselves yet again with their latest video about freshers' week in Bristol.
In a bizarre three minute clip- which veers between laddish boasts and prudish moralising- the intrepid newshounds brave the mean streets of the city to learn *shock horror* students like a bit of a drink.
The news piece begins with an introduction featuring some vintage Bristol soundbites such as "We LOVE drugs and alcohol" "EVERYONE does drugs here" and "I've spent some money Mum and Dad, Mum and Dad have donated it for me!".
What follows is a jarring shift into the world of policing, in which highly trained and skilled professionals barely conceal their irritation at having to give 18 year olds a lift home.
It should be noted that Buzzfeed's coverage doesn't try and bring some (or indeed any) facts to bear on the scenes of apparent drunken debauchery. It doesn't, for instance, point to the slow decline in binge drinking amongst young people nor contextual figures which show that people in the South West drink more than anywhere else in Britain.
Rather than find out the number of hospital visits or arrests made during freshers' week, it instead treats us to pearls of wisdom such as "alcohol-related incidents were a big problem". Shock! Horror!
Next up we were treated to a police officer talking about the penalties caught if you were found with drugs. Whilst an obviously admirable message, it seemed slightly odd to be preaching it in front of Thekla, hardly renowned for being 'the druggy club' in Bristol.
However, whilst the stern warnings about being treated "as an adult" might ring slightly hollow in light of Bristol University's drug policy, it was well worth watching this bit to discover the GREATEST MOUSTACHE OF ALL TIME.
PC Shafaqut Zahoor and his fabulous facial hair have already been witnessed by many a Bristol student on a night out. Now the whole world gets to see it in glorious technicolour- so maybe some good came of this otherwise terrible vid.
The report ends with police officers having to transport home some lightweights who've been off their faces on the sesh. They stagger off into the pale moonlight, the underlying theme abundantly clear- 'don't use police cars as a taxi service kids!'
That blindly obvious message sums up the entire video in a nutshell. Of course, some students are going to drink too much in their first week here. Of course, some students are going to do drugs and a few will be stupid enough to brag about that on a major media outlet. One or two might even be selfish/lazy/moronic enough to fake inebriation to catch a lift home from police officers with better things to do.
But the fact is, none of this is news. None of this is noteworthy, novel or a surprise to 99% of the population. So if you're going to put together a three minute package maybe try to bring something new to bear on the whole 'freshers like a drink' angle? Or at least put some more top taches in next time.