Third year Scot’s rant about the British Lions goes viral

The announcement last week of the British and Irish Lions rugby squad was met with anger and disbelief by Scottish fans everywhere as Warren Gatland announced the touring squad would only contain 2 Scotsmen out of 41 players.

Yet none of them has expressed their anger with more eloquence or legible typing skills than Bristol third year historian Duncan Gellatly, otherwise known as President of the university’s much loved Gin Society.

Following the announcement of the squad on the Lions official Facebook page, Duncan took to the comments to register his disgust at the “lack of objectivity in selection” in a 661 word rant that received over 1,000 Facebook likes.

Duncan’s chief criticism centred on Gatland selecting 12 Welshmen in a year when the national side only came fifth in the Six Nations table. He claimed that the Lions “has become a Welsh tour with others only invited out of obligation”, that “it’s the same type of bias that led to us losing the 2005 tour” with a selection criteria based on “jobs for the boys”.

Although “in previous years a higher Welsh selection was warranted”, “11 players from the obvious and officially worst national side out of the home nations is an injustice” which “undermines the values of fair play and sportsmanship that the sport is built on.”

Duncan added rapier like wit to the bludgeon of righteous indignation, enquiring rhetorically as to whether “Warren Gatland and his Plaid Cymru analysts” watched “a different Six Nations from the rest of us” before adding how he was “a little surprised to not see Gavin Henson, Shane Williams, or Gareth Edwards on the plane!”

Duncan’s remarks that “Alun Wyn Jones is the eighth best second row in the British Isles” and that Dan Biggar’s selection showed how “variety in attack and consistency in defence weren’t in Gatland’s selection criteria” elicited quite a response on the Facebook page, with 199 comments- both positive and negative- coming underneath.

Those in support of Duncan were typically succinct Scotsmen: “The only people that seem to be happy are the Welsh. No wonder”, “Saying what we’re all thinking” and “You have put that brilliantly”. Those against ranged from rejoinders like “What a throbber”, “Triggered” and “Do shut up” to offers like “Do you want some ketchup for that chip on your shoulder?” and “If you can name 7 better 2nd rows in Britain than AWJ, I’ll present Match of the Day in my pants.”

One commenter even enquired as to whether he was “a very close relative of Nicola Sturgeon” whilst another bemoaned “an SNP supporter bringing politics into sport, What on earth has Plaid Cymru got to do with any of this sour rhetoric.”

When contacted by The Tab, Duncan said that whilst: “The Sturgeon insult was rather upsetting” but “Hopefully my insight will not be overlooked in the future and a coaching role for the 2021 tour might be on the cards; I have definitely got better coaching credentials than Rob Howley.”