Trump happened, Bristol should keep its cool


Alas, it has happened. The President of the United States of America is a self-admitted ‘pussy-grabber.’

Wondering whether a talented and undiscovered German writer considered writing an equivalent piece in 1933, it dawned on me that perhaps bigotry, racism and misogyny have ‘trumped’ humour and satire. Nevertheless, it is somewhat comforting that the leader of the free world openly admits that “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

We can’t make America half-decent again, but we can take the piss.

Whilst my thoughts are more muddled than Theresa May’s Brexit strategy, I can at least use this opportunity to debunk a few ill-considered Facebook posts from the keyboard-warrior battalions and myths arisen from this strange election.

Here are three things to think about in the post-election social media world:

Pointing the finger

Pointing the finger at Americans that voted Trump is one stupid and intensely draining way to start, considering that more than half the country plumped for the Donald.

Yes, Trump’s electoral base is predominantly whiter than a Ku Klux Klan wedding dress, however one cannot merely discredit the majority-white American community. Instead we should be addressing this imbalance; white men have been voting Republican long before the First Lady Melania (Jesus it feels weird saying that) was even born, it is clear that Trump’s support reaches far beyond men that have no less than three of 1: rifle, 2: Confederate flag, 3: Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen.

It came true

Clinton shaming

Yes, Hillary Clinton is an extremely poor candidate, the theoretical concept of the establishment encapsulated in one ageing human body. Yes, it would be difficult to find a Democratic candidate, Monica Lewinsky withstanding, so easily besieged by the ferocious Trump smear campaign.

Blaming Hillary for this result however, is a different story. The overpowering narrative of two deeply flawed candidates is truly preposterous; whilst technically a boy who steals a chocolate bar and Jimmy Savile are both criminals, one certainly cannot put them in the same bracket (or room!).

Email miscalculation weighed against tax evasion, fascist policy proposals and outright sexism; the scales are tipped as if Chris Christie had been added onto them.

Hillary can be seen as nothing but stooge for the irrationality of the American public in voting for a candidate who has given us a more detailed plan for how exactly to sexually assault women than to defeat ISIS.

Aaaand now were fucked

It’s our problem just as much as yours!

Whilst many of us, particularly staunch ‘Remainers,’ see this as further insult to the Brexit injury, we should not victimize ourselves in place of many American’s who would rather spend a night in with Piers Morgan than a Trump presidency.

It is easy as a British citizen to ridicule yet underestimate the consequences. Imagine being asked to build a fence to stop your football obsessed neighbour kicking balls over; it is this logical absurdity coalesced with animosity that Mexican’s now wake up to as their reality.

Imagine too the impact on LGBT America, a President propped up by Churches who ‘love thy neighbour’ (unless that neighbour is Caitlyn Jenner), and make the Vatican seem moderate.

American women have woken up to a female president remaining a distant reality, with sexual assault accusations not even halting a man’s career but shooting him to the top. Katie Hopkins’ pledge to move to American now Trump has won may be a silver lining; yet encapsulates perfectly how the mainstream US population politically aligns with a figure of national revulsion and mockery.

For now…

Here in Britain, Brexit has seen politics and markets become more unpredictable than a Keith Vaz night in. But Brexit’s impact on us could be microscopic compared to the damage our transatlantic cousins will see from a Trump Presidency. Donald Trump is now the leader of the free world, making it less free again.

Though Nostradamus predicted the world would end in 2012, people have been quick to label today as the Armageddon. Whilst easy to question humanity in the face of such events, it must not be forgotten that life goes on.

It is crucial that this Presidency is met with protest and ridicule more than ever before. And if nothing else, we should keep taking the piss.