My driving instructor is an ex-convict who tries to sell me drugs

A few months ago some of my lazier friends convinced me that it would be a good idea to learn how to drive. Once done, I could then taxi them around Bristol’s frosty streets. So began my quest for a driver’s licence.

On the morning of the first lesson I wasn’t in the best of moods. I spent most of breakfast sighing to myself. This was going to be very boring, I thought.

This is going to be shit

Oh how wrong I was.

After 15 minutes of small talk the man who sat next to me in the car, (who for legal and personal security reasons shall be referred to as Larry), began to reveal his true nature.

First things first, it turned out that Larry had gone to jail for trying to steal a car. Irony is rarely more delicious.

One time we stopped on the side of the road for a cigarette break and Larry offered me some mysterious substances in transparent bags. Then he offered to provide me with some dealers’ numbers.

“Real dank shit” he said.

Was he trying to sound street? Had he been watching too many gangster movies? More importantly, had I stepped into some kind of mobile drug distribution unit? Was I to be the Jesse to Larry’s Heisenberg?

The Streets of Clifton – Deceptively Ordinary

Larry liked to point out “fit birds” on the street through a thick cloud of cigarette smoke while I wrestled with the clutch and made us stall every fifteen seconds around the roads of Clifton.

A few lessons down the road, Larry ordered me to follow a red mini for 20 minutes just because “our car was bigger than it”. Did this guy have an inferiority complex?

Looking back, Larry was more like a Tarantino character than a driving instructor.

A few months have passed now and it’s safe to say that I still can’t drive. But this experience was about a hell of a lot more than mere driving. Perhaps Larry was sent to me for a reason.

That’s not to say that he’s become a mentor to me or anything – let’s face it – Larry isn’t a good role model.

Anyway, I expect to have many more strange adventures with Larry and his car before the authorities finally catch up to him and he is returned to where he belongs.