From Mini Eggs to Creme Eggs: What each Russell Group uni would be as an Easter egg

Waitrose pistachio egg is big Oxford energy

4 weeks ago

Spring term is finally over and you’re now rushing home for Easter and escaping all the dissertation stress by devouring the Easter eggs you begged your mum to buy you in one sitting.

But it’s which Easter egg you pick that says a lot about who you are as a person. Specifically, which Russell Group uni you belong at. Any of the fancy new Waitrose eggs released this year HAVE to be Oxford and a Smarties egg just screams York, for example. So grab yourself a sweet treat because this is what each Russell Group uni would be as an Easter egg.

Mini Egg – Manchester

Ah, the classic Mini Egg – it’s just such a crowd-pleaser and has general BNOC vibes all around. Manchester is officially 2024’s most popular Russell Group university so what better Easter choccy to pair it with than the humble Mini Egg? It’s popular and cool but it knows it. If a Mini Eggs Easter egg was a Manchester student it would host the most iconic Fallowfield parties that literally the entire uni rocks up to.

Waitrose Pistachio egg – Oxford

This egg is SO Tory it hurts. So naturally, she’d be right at home at Oxford. This bad boy will set you back a massive £14 which is no problem for Oxford students who will undoubtedly just whack it on Daddy’s credit card before bundling four of them in the back of the Tesla. Will be munched on sat by the Aga, post-Easter bonnet making and with the crusty white dog in tow.

Personalised Thorntons egg – Durham

Not only are you a Durham student but you’re also a spoiled only child. This egg as a student would have got rejected from Oxford so their parents are still firmly trying to make them feel better by making them feel special on every occasion, this time by just shoving their name onto a shitty Easter egg. And let’s be honest, you’re probably annoyed it’s not the Waitrose Pistachio one, aren’t you?

Green and Blacks – Exeter

Green and Blacks and Exeter really do just go hand in hand. This egg would be scoffed whilst wearing M&S linen trousers or Tom’s Trunks and a charity shop shirt paired with a pair of Birkenstocks even though it’s still FREEZING outside. An Exeter student eating this egg probably went for the vegan version after watching some sort of documentary and getting a superiority complex over being vegan and saving the turtles. It would be washed down with a massive glug from their pastel pink Stanley Cup.

Plain Dairy Milk – Warwick

Dairy Milk is a classic, it’s well respected but let’s be honest it’s no one’s first choice. Where’s the excitement? The pizazz? Much like Warwick. Warwick always scores highly in uni league tables but does anyone actually know what makes it so good? Is it the fact that it’s actually in Coventry and nothing happens there? Bit of a snore choice tbh.

Malteasers Bunny – Edinburgh

This egg is BASIC but it does kinda slay, giving Edi energy. If this egg was a student it would be your basic, Molly Mae obsessed, Aperol Spritz drinking and Fiat 500 driving true crime lover. She knows what she likes and she’s content with that. Good for her x

Creme Egg – Bristol

Don’t get me wrong I love a Creme Egg on its own but a big Easter Egg version just screams chaotic energy and I can’t exactly put my finger on why. A lot of people are absolutely obsessed with Creme Eggs and could devour a fair few before wanting to throw up. But then there are the people who DESPISE them, and the same can be said for Bristol students who think they’re more edgy and cool than they actually are.

Smarties – York

Childish, and slightly boring but sweet. Am I describing a York student or a Smarties Easter egg? Wrong, it’s both! Both people who go for a Smarties Easter egg and people who go to York Uni need to grow up (and get over Long Boi, sorry).

Sunny Side Sam – Cardiff

Kinda obsessed with this little guy I can’t lie to you. Not sure whether it’s the cheesy music in the SU or just the pure obsession with VKs but Cardiff students are giving off Sunny Side Sam energy. But they’d probably also rather go for the knockoff Aldi or Lidl version instead of Waitrose, more money for VKs at YOLO.

Lindt – UCL

Lindt Easter eggs just give off the vibe that you have your life together, and that’s how a lot of UCL students are perceived. Yeah, the teeny weeny bit of your student loan that’s not being spent on rent is probably going straight to TFL but at least you are SERVING in your 9 am in your business casual fit.