BOO! Would your Cardiff Uni degree survive these horror movies?

Three years of lectures, deadlines, and a questionable amount of caffeine should prepare us for the real world. But would any of it actually help us survive a horror movie?

With Halloween creeping up on us, it’s time to find out which university degrees would be useful in a life-or-death situation, and which would leave you wishing you’d spent less time in the library and more time learning how to run.

Psychology – Scream

via YouTube

Surely a psychology student could figure out Ghostface’s next move. After years of studying human behaviour, you’d think spotting a suspicious personality would be second nature.

Unfortunately, analysing the killer’s childhood trauma won’t help much when they’re chasing you down the hallway.

Survival rating: 6/10. Great at spotting red flags, not so great at running away from them.

Geography – The Blair Witch Project

via YouTube

Lost in the woods with no phone signal? Finally, a chance to put those navigation skills to use.

A geography student should know their way around a map, understand the terrain and, ideally, recognise when they’ve been walking in circles for the past three hours.

Unfortunately, the characters in The Blair Witch Project had a map too. We all know how that ended.

Survival rating: 7/10. Strong map-reading skills, questionable luck.

Biology – Jurassic Park

via YouTube

A biology degree might help you understand the dinosaurs, their behaviour, and why bringing extinct predators back to life is a terrible idea.

However, knowing how the food chain works is a lot less comforting when you’re at the bottom of it.

You can explain the science all you want, but no amount of lecture notes will help you outrun a T.Rex.

Most Read

Traitor Maya Jama outed herself at breakfast, and we (and the Faithfuls) didn’t catch it

Former Traitors stars break the illusion of what they eat, and breakfast will never be the same

Mind-boggling flaw makes it ‘obvious’ who the Celebrity Traitors final three will be

Survival rating: 7/10. Academically prepared, physically doomed.

Law – Saw

via YouTube

A law student trapped in one of Jigsaw’s games would probably spend the first five minutes questioning the legality of the situation.

Unlawful imprisonment? Coercion? Health and safety violations?

Unfortunately, Jigsaw probably isn’t interested in hearing your legal argument, especially when there’s a countdown on the wall.

Survival rating: 4/10. Excellent at arguing their case, less effective at escaping the trap.

Engineering – The Conjuring

via YouTube

A haunted house? Surely an engineering student could work out what’s going wrong with the building.

You might identify structural problems, assess the layout and plan an escape route. But when the doors start slamming by themselves and something whispers your name, even the most practical degree has its limits.

Survival rating: 5/10. Can fix a building, cannot fix a demon.

So, would your degree save you?

University teaches us plenty of useful things, but surviving a supernatural killing spree probably isn’t listed in most course handbooks.

Ultimately, the most valuable qualification might just be common sense. Don’t split up, don’t investigate strange noises alone, and if your new student house appears to be haunted, perhaps reconsider signing the tenancy agreement.

And if you do survive? At least you’ll have something impressive to put on your CV.

For more of the latest news, guides, gossip, and memes, follow The Cardiff Tab on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.