Just a load of the best Eurovision songs that altered my brain chemistry forever

WE GO CHA CHA CHA

11 months ago

Throughout my life as a Eurovision Song Contest stan, songs have entered my head and they have never left. They’ve set up shop. They put their stall out and let their lyrics live rent free for the rest of time. And I’m okay with them all being there. These songs are family to me, and that’s what Eurovision is all about at the end of the day. United by music: It’s how it managed to be one of the best weeks of my life when I had the privilege of spending the past few days in Liverpool just soaking in all it had to offer. With the post-Eurovish blues in full effect and with honestly nothing better to do, may I present a collection of the best Eurovision songs to ever alter my brain chemistry forever.

Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit by Gina G

Holding a special place in my heart due to the fact this performance took place two weeks after I was born. Gina G didn’t win Eurovision with this eurodance classic but she got a global hit out of it, which is a lot better. A UK number one single that never fails to make me smash the treadmill into next week. The performance is high camp. Infectious.

Dancing Lasha Tumbai by Verka Serduchka

Simply put, this IS Eurovision. This is it, guys. This is what we all come here for.

Düm Tek Tek by Hadise

This song is pop perfection on a Shakira level of drama, vocals and choreo. The fact it’s this camp but Turkey refused to participate in Eurovision anymore citing Conchita Wurst’s participation and eventual victory makes it even more camp. The call is coming from inside the house, girlies, because this was one for the gays.

Euphoria by Loreen

The absolute, without a shadow or a crumb of doubt, the greatest Eurovision song of all time. She is a force to be reckoned with, this song is titanic in its emotion, oomph and, erm, ahem, EUPHORIA. Mother, mother, mother – and if anyone thinks Tattoo didn’t deserve to win, it’s only about 25 per cent worse than this tune and there is no one on earth more deserving to become the first female artist to win ESC twice. Legendary.

Fuego by Eleni Foureira

A winner, in my eyes. The choreography! The vocalry! The boppery! Truly for the ages. You have not had a night out in the Manchester Gay Village if you don’t hear this at least once.

El Diablo by Elena Tsagrinou

Every naysayer of this song deserves to be ignored – how can you not marvel at lyricism as wonderfully nonsensical as “Dropping the lashes on the floor.” Why are we dropping the lashes on the floor? Who knows, who cares!

Zitti E Buoni by Måneskin

Quite simply one of the sexiest ways you could ever hope to spend three minutes. A bit of a cultural reset, to be honest.

Chameleon by Michela

Half arsed dance moves sung by a pop girly who’s the absolute dead ringer of Bailey J Mills? Going to have to stan I’m afraid. There was an era where it was taken off Spotify and living through that time period was honestly harder for me than weathering the pandemic.

Soldi by Mahmood

How the living hell this didn’t win in 2019 is beyond me. I know I said that Euphoria is the greatest Eurovision song of all time, but Soldi is the coolest. It sounds like an Italian ROSALÍA song and I think that’s why I worship at its altar. Mahmood is also a strong contender for the sexiest man alive.

Think About Things by Daði Freyr

Iceland’s pride and joy not getting to win Eurovision 2020 with this masterpiece was the biggest travesty from Covid.

Shum by Go_A

How do you serve cunt but in a traditional, Ukrainian folk way? Like this, actually. On Friday night I heard this in the club for the very first time and to say I went feral would be a grave understatement. No one was safe.

That’s Rich by Brooke

One of the best little fun boppy Eurovision songs ever, and one of the biggest robberies of all time. How the living hell did this not qualify for the final? It’s SO good! I love how she tries to make “sick of you” into two syllables.

Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Is there a bad song in music history that does what Cha Cha Cha does perfectly: The final minute shake up where it morphs into something different. Every bit of Cha Cha Cha feels like a shot of adrenaline and I can’t imagine a life where I’m not humming it.

I Wrote a Song by Mae Muller

The Muller was done dirty. This song, which admittedly is better when I listen to it via Spotify than when I watch back Saturday’s live vocals, is pop perfection to me. Silly, fun, inescapable. I buy into everything the vibes of The Muller is selling me. If you were lucky enough to watch this performance in a room full of UK fans who were genuinely rooting for the best pop girly we’ve sent since Gina G, you will remember this as one of the best Eurovision songs for pure euphoria.

@harrisonjbrock