Rounding up the chaotic MAFS UK moments that are etched into my brain forever

Not being dramatic but Kwame’s park bench changed the trajectory of my life

I’m sorry, but you will be unable to find me a more chaotic show than MAFS UK – a show with moments so wild that this year it made every other reality TV show look like child’s play.  It can be hard to remember all the carnage that actually went down now the dust has settled, so here I come to drag all the drama back up from the dust so we can look back at how WTF the 2022 season of MAFS UK actually was. So, without further ado, here are my fave chaotic MAFS UK moments that will never leave my brain even if I want them to.

Thomas firing out one liners

 Choose your fighter! Will it be “I didn’t anticipate that I would be marrying Clare Balding”? Will it be “Listen to me, I wasn’t expecting H from Steps”? Will it be “Princess Anne and Poundshop Naomi Campbell?” Will it be “GI fucking Joke”? So many options, and not a wrong choice in sight. Unforgettable.

The hot tub saga

April kissed a girl in a hot tub on their honeymoon? Or something? George flipped his lid but it was just spin the bottle or truth or dare? OR SOMETHING?

The marquee saga

That marquee is probably the most historical location in the country. So much happened there. Namely, everyone finding out that Matt and Whitney went behind Duka and Gemma’s back to start a random romance. This marquee day should be a national holiday going forward.

Gemma screaming at Matt to sit down in the aforementioned marquee

The rage behind her eyes will stay in my memories for all of time.

Johnathan saying HORSE LEGS

Imagine having the brass neck to say that to your wife at a dinner party in front of her friends. Imagine the words horse legs leaving your mouth, and not only that, but then doubling down on it. We pray for the world.

Kwame’s park bench

I do not care what this man ever says to explain it, HE TOOK KASIA TO A PARK BENCH. A HOMESTAY. ON A PARK BENCH.

Whitney losing the wedding ring Duka got her

I hope and pray that Channel 4 had insurance.

Zoe having a pickled rat in her jar in the middle of the kitchen

Much to unpack here. Didn’t know that vegans couldn’t eat eggs but keeps dead rats in the kitchen. Feels like a fever dream.

Matt growling at Whitney before he snogged her

Rage and trauma. RAGE and TRAUMA.

Kasia scribbling out Kwame on the wedding pictures on Instagram

Truly one of the funniest moments of the season. It was so flop when Whitney copied it, though.

Matt getting ‘I appreciate you’ tattooed on his leg 

And now they aren’t even together so it was just all for nothing!!! Hellish.

And just because it has to be included, Kwame’s rap single

Dick long like placenta.

For all the latest MAFS UK roundup drama, memes, tweets, gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

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• All the cast of MAFS UK 2022, ranked by how many Instagram followers they’ve now got

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• Married at First Sight UK stars Adrian and Thomas are no longer on speaking terms