The definitive guide to what flavour Elf Bar the Love Islanders of 2022 would smoke

Look guys, I’m in my Elf Bar era. They are dominating my life. I spend my every waking moment thinking about what flavour I’m going to drop six quid on and shove in my gob next. I don’t care that my teeth might fall out. I don’t care that I’m 26 years old and should know better. I don’t care that I’ve never even smoked a full cig so I’ve just started vaping for no discernible reason. I just wanna be me! Right, what Elf Bar flavour you choose speaks volumes whether you like it or not, and after nearly two months with the Love Island Islanders of 2022 I think I’m mentally equipped to unquestionably declare what Elf Bar flavour they spent their pre-villa life puffing on.

Gemma – Blue Razz Lemonade

I love Gemma, but she’s for the Molly-Maes of our world. And for that, I know she spends her nights following ditching her horse in the stables toking away on the go-to Elf Bar for the girlies that get a wrap at Nando’s and katsu curry at Wagas.

Luca – Mango Milk

I wasn’t really sure which flavour to go for here because the immaculate vibes of an Elf Bar are instantly at odds with the evil vibes of Luca, so I just chose whatever flavour I thought sounded the most gross.

Paige – Pink Lemonade

Hey hunny bun! Everything with Paige is sickly sweet and girly so there’s only one logical choice: The basic bitch vibes of Pink Lemonade. You just KNOW Paige is lured in by the colour and you know what? Who can bloody blame her! Pink on doll!

Adam – Cola

There’s a brazen masculinity to the browns of the Cola Elf Bar. And I feel like Adam thee Collard would be all over it like a rash. It is the musky and woody aftershave of the Elf Bar world. It screams womaniser – and not in the appealing Britney Spears sense.

Ekin-Su – Cherry

Mama Su is the sexiest queen in the villa, so it makes sense that she goes for the flavour that oozes sex to the MAX. What is it about the humble cherry that makes it such a seductress? The femme fatale of the fruit world. Anyway, it suits Ar Ekin to a tee. Queen shit.

Davide – Cherry Cola

All the masculinity of a Cola Elf Bar but with a dash of Ekin-Su’s Cherry. What could be more Davide than that! Ekin-Su has him in a chokehold whether he likes it or not. LYER!

Tasha – Pineapple Peach Mango

This is my Elf Bar of choice at the moment, so I’m dedicating this to Tasha in solidarity for the hell time she’s having in that villa. And because I feel like the colour scheme would just pop with her outfits. Quote me.

Danica – Coffee Tobacco

A HARD DAY AT THE OFFICE. NUMBERS TO HIT. DEADLINES TO MEET. COFFEE COFFEE COFFE. CIG CIG CIG. LET’S CRUNCH THOSE TARGETS, TEAM.

Dami – Spearmint

The least he deserves for all his Luca enabling behaviour is smoking on an Elf Bar that tastes like a stale pack of Wrigley’s Extra that you’ve had in the bottom of your bag for the last two years. Mmm!

Indiyah – Kiwi Passionfruit Guava

I just know Indiyah has TASTE.

Summer – Cotton Candy Ice

Howdy partner! Famous Yank Summer sucks away on a Cotton Candy Ice Elf Bar because the tastes reminds her of that good ol’ U, S of A! Hope she had a great 4th July in the villa. Hotdog Elf Bars don’t exist yet so this will have to do!

Billy – Energy Ice

Billy has all the energy of an annoying 10 year old, so it makes sense to me that he would go for a flavour of Elf Bar fashioned after the kind of shitty energy drinks you guzzle for 30p from your corner shop.

Deji – Grape

There’s an unassuming blasé vibe to Deji that I think the humble and endlessly chic Grape Elf Bar would accompany Love Island icon Ar Dej wonderfully. You can’t debate this. Simple but timeless. Mwah.

Andrew –  Coco’s Tit

Or whatever.

For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. 

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Inside Molly-Mae and Tommy Fury’s new £4million home

• Paige’s friends call for her to be ‘saved’ from Jacques after he calls her ‘pathetic’

• Love Island’s Amber Gill says she lost 25,000 followers after posting about Black Lives Matter