Who is H? A forensic investigation into which Line of Duty character is most likely
If it ends up being Hastings, Kate or Steve I will quite literally call the police
This series of Line of Duty has left us with many questions: Why does Steve look so hot in that fancy dress police cap? Does anyone work at AC-12 other than Chloe Bishop? Where did that ‘I’ve got a spare Mazda in the multi-story car park’ story line come from? But the main question is who the hell is H?
At this point it really feels like it could be anyone, or maybe even no one. Chief Constable Philip Osborne is a hot favourite, but it feels too obvious. Hastings too. If it’s Kate or Steve I will naturally be writing not one, but two complaints to Ofcom and won’t be able to trust anyone again. What if it’s……..Steph Corbett?
In the quest to find out who is H, we’ve ranked all the most likely Line of Duty characters to be the missing piece to the puzzle in the most forensic way possible – giving them a score out of 10.
Who is H? Here’s the contenders:
TED HASTINGS – 5/10
It’s been a plausible theory for a long time that Ted, head of catching bent coppers, could be the ultimate bent copper. I mean, it makes sense. But at this point, if it is finally unveiled as him it would just be a huge anti-climax, and I have all the faith that Jed Mercurio knows this too. Line of Duty will truly out Line of Duty itself if at the end of all this it’s just like meh, take Ted. NO. WE WANT FRESH AND SHOCKING DRAMA.
ROHAN SINDWHANI – 6/10
Rohan Sindwhani wasn’t on this list until he gave this look down the stairwell, then he became a strong contender. There’s mischief in those eyes!!!!!!!
MARCUS THURWELL – 2/10
That’s just James Nesbitt on his holidays in Spain. Next.
IAN BUCKELLS – 6/10
You know how Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons is a clown, but also a murdering bastard? That’s basically what Ian Buckells could be. Line of Duty’s very own Sideshow Bob. It feels impossible that a man so simple minded could be H and the top of the OCG, but let’s not forget the same simple minded man is currently leading the murder investigation unit.
CHLOE BISHOP – 4/10
Okay hear me out: Who is the one providing nearly all the evidence to Steve and the gaffer every week? Chloe. Who is the only person in AC-12 actually working on the case? Chloe. Who is holding this whole goddamn office up? Chloe. Chloe has basically cracked the case by herself this series, but doing it solo means she could have plenty of opportunities to tamper with the evidence and not a single person would know: Hastings is out getting a bollocking every day from his superiors, Steve’s creeping on Steph Corbett and Kate is MIA from AC-12. It’s unlikely, but we must consider all the (lack of) evidence.
LEE BANKS – 4/10
Lee Banks is that bitch in prison. He’s got his fingers in all the pies inside the prison walls and out, making him a fairly strong contender as H. But the reliance on a Windows laptop and some kind of encrypted MSN service means it’s probably unlikely Lee Banks is the head honcho.
JO DAVIDSON – 5/10
Did you see how shook she was in the instant messaging chat with the OCG? You’re telling me this hot mess of a woman could be the big-dog of the operation? Pull the other one. Yeah, she’s pretty, albeit accidentally, bent as fuck – but there is no chance in hell she’s got it in her to run the whole shop. If Joanne Davidison is H, then I am both Jesus and Mary, and Joseph and the wee donkey.
CHRIS LOMAX – 8/10
If this guy hasn’t died yet, I beg the question of why is he even here? His contribution has been minimal, so I present to you that this is because he has been so busy H-ing. You know, doing all the H-y stuff. Bent coppering and that.
STEVE ARNOTT – 3/10
This man practically broke his back trying to escape from OCG crimes, he is not one of them.
PHILIP OSBORNE – 3/10
It would be too obvious for Osborne to be H. That revelation would feel too season two. Plus he’s lacking in any kind of story line this year, only appearing via some old video recordings. You only think he is bent because he looks bent, but sorry that is not going to fly in this court of law.
KATE FLEMING – 1/10
Line of Duty simply cannot play us this way. Kate is as pure as they come, and if it turns out she’s been a fake this whole time I will lose all faith in this silly little show and its silly little plots.
ANDREA WISE – 2/10
Andrea Wise hasn’t got the time to be H. I don’t know what else she’s up to, Pilates and catching up on Corrie maybe, but definitely not being H.
THERE IS NO H – 9/10
Look I love Line of Duty but it has been a convoluted mess for the past two seasons. Can you seriously look into my eyes and tell me episode by episode what the fuck has happened since John Corbett came on the scene? No, you can’t, unless you’re one of those fans who figured out the QR code from the trailer. What if there’s no H! What if this has been for nothing! What if the case was closed by season four and we’ve been taken for a ride! It cannot be ruled out.
PATRICIA CARMICHAEL – 9/10
I like to see myself as a gentle soul, someone who wouldn’t get into a physical altercation without there being a good reason, but I can hand on heart swear on the Bible in front of 12 jurors, a judge and a packed courtroom full of the general public and journalists that I would, if working in AC-12 and given the opportunity, hit Patricia Carmichael in the face.
The smirk, the hushed voice, the head-tilt after a savage question – sorry but this woman is a piece of work and is right at the top of the possibility ranking of who is H. The writing was on the wall during Jo Davidson’s interview where she shut down Hastings’s and Steve’s questioning into the OCG. Plus she clearly despises AC-12, but has willingly taken up the job to become the team’s new chief superintendent?? Your honour, there is only one reasonable explanation for this behaviour – to prevent the police from catching bent coppers, like herself!!!!!!
STEPH CORBETT – 0.0001/10
Don’t you dare talk or think about our Steph like that. Sure she’s harbouring a wad of cash in her attic and has used a burner phone before to contact her now deceased husband John when he was in the OCG, but that does not make our Steph a criminal mastermind. You should feel ashamed of yourself for even pondering the thought.
Line of Duty is available to watch on BBC iPlayer now.