We asked people for their early house party stories and wow, we were all so tragic
‘We all got chucked out at 10:30’
Your first house party is usually full of Caribbean Twist, Topshop short shorts and someone being sick by 9:30pm. Parents hovered anxiously handing out WKDs or when out only to return to find someone shagging under their rose bush. Kesha was probably playing and you all took photos in the bath which you then posted on Facebook and obsessed over for the month until the next party. Those parties really were tragic and yet we genuinely thought we were the coolest thing.
And yet sometimes those parties in year 9 and 10 actually contained far more drama than the parties we throw now. Where else would you get a girl acting as if she’s graduated from medical school because she knows to get sliced bread for the person chundering in the loo? And sometimes there was tension you could cut with a knife. The popular girl’s ex is getting with a total random and you just know it’s going to kick off.
It’s probably been nearly 10 years since we went to our first house party, so we asked students to share their most tragic house party stories to see if they really were as chaotic as we remembered. And they did not disappoint – blue sick, chucked out at 10:30pm and having chicken nuggets thrown at you basically sums up a Friday night in year 10.
These are the tragic stories of our early house parties:
My friend vommed up bright blue sick all over the back of the car
One of my first parties my mum came to pick me and my friends up at 11:30pm, she flat out refused to come any later (I was about 13 years old). When she turned up I was asleep on my friend’s bathroom floor. She woke me up and then dragged me downstairs to find my friends.
We gathered everyone up bar one girl. My mum and the host’s mum then went walking round the garden and found her like shagging some random on a wicker bench down the bottom of the garden. My mum was absolutely raging and then just before we got home my friend vommed up bright blue sick all over the back of the car. So after that ordeal my mum didn’t speak to me for about a month.
Looking back at it, that could have ended HORRIBLY
So this was year 10. We had a lot of hill parties, up fields in the middle of the night. Don’t know how we managed to do that but still. Anyway, I was with my friends and it turned 3am so my mate’s dad called us a taxi to pick us up from the bottom of the hill to take us home.
So we rolled down the hill and got to the road (about six of us girls) and saw a car, walked up to it and were like is this our taxi? And the guy inside was like yeah.
So we all got in and he drove for a solid minute then we all realised we actually hadn’t told him the address we were going to. So we asked him again if he was our taxi and he was like no and realised his daughter wasn’t in the car. He thought she was there and presumed we were just her friends and gonna have a sleepover or something haha, so we finally got out.
Looking back at it, that could have ended HORRIBLY and I really don’t know how I’m still here to tell the tale.
I was drunk probably off about two drinks
At one of my first parties I was drunk probably off about two drinks, someone suggested playing truth or dare and I literally jumped in excitement.
But I landed weird and sprained my ankle. I was too drunk to notice until the walk home and tried knocking on the door of the local hospital to get it sorted but it was closed.
We all got chucked out at like 10:30pm
One of my early memories from year 11 is when someone put a beer bottle down the toilet and tried to flush it. This like cracked the porcelain and then when some girl sat on it later on the whole thing shattered.
She then got some of the shattered toilet stuck in her thigh and had to go to A&E to have it removed and stitches. Never mind the whole bathroom is also now ruined and we all got chucked out at like 10:30pm.
Her dad would only let everyone have two drinks
My first ever one was my mate’s 13th and her dad would only let everyone have two drinks so he was sat in the spare bedroom with a bucket full of WKDs and Smirnoff Ice. You had to go get them from him, and he’d put a line on your hand to see how many you’d had.
She was the only one of us who went to a mixed school so we were so excited about BOYS and we spent like a month planning our outfits.
People had spread around that I had slept with a banana at that party
After attending a girl’s school throughout my teens, communicating with boys didn’t come naturally so house parties were the only form of contact we had.
One party in particular was fancy dress, so in true Mean Girls style, I’d picked a ‘sexy’ option to impress. Dressed as Lara Croft, with my booty shorts, combat accessories and lashings of fake tan, I headed out to the party and necked my bottles of WKD on arrival.
That night, I had my first ever kiss with a boy dressed as a banana (painted his face yellow as well). After my embarrassing attempt at snogging with a fruit, I returned to the party to hear whispers among the group.
The next day, people had spread around that I had slept with a banana at that party – hurray!
I fell flat in the mud and dropped my Caribbean twist everywhere
I went to a party in year 10 once to a rich boy’s house who had a field behind his garden and he’d set up a marquee. I’d been desperate to wear those huge Jeffrey Campbell shoes everyone used to love, so I borrowed a pair off my friend.
When I arrived, I stepped out onto the field, which was very uneven, fell flat in the mud and dropped my Caribbean Twist everywhere. I spent the whole party sat on the floor with ice on my ankle and no shoes on.
I cried for four hours straight because the guy I liked was was only taking me to prom so he’d be invited to the after party
There was the time I cried for four hours straight because the guy I liked didn’t like me back, and I found out he was only taking me to prom so he’d be invited to the after party.
Then there was the time my dad found used condoms in my dilapidated shed after my birthday. During that party everyone left and we had a party in the middle of a roundabout.
I had chicken thrown at me because I was a ‘side piece’
I was attending a fancy boat party at the end of college. I was sleeping with someone who made out it was just me but turned out he was sleeping with someone else and his guy group turned on me because they knew the other girl.
They threw chicken at me so I knew I was a side piece, as though I wasn’t already aware by this point.
I remember being like ‘Oh my god, I’m feeling so dizzy right now’
It was a Halloween party when I was in year 11, it was the first time I ever got drunk. And I remember being like, “Oh my god, I’m feeling so dizzy right now.”
And then I went out and my friend had a hot tub and in her hot tub was her older brother from the year above. He had his really fit friend over and I was there in my zombie nurse costume sitting by the hot tub like “hi guys” and I literally cringe every time I think about that.
We both laughed so hard, fell over and wet ourselves
I went to a house party when I was like 14 and because it was the host’s first house party, her parents were there and they invited some mates. Her parents were pretty fun so it wasn’t too much of a mood killer. There was one of her parents’ friends who was like an older single guy in a leather jacket and black jeans who stayed up after all the adults went to bed.
Me and my mate were outside having a smoke and he joined us to roll a zoot. We were obviously like ‘go on give us some’, so we all smoked up together (for me and my friends this was the first time). The guy was very calm whilst me and my mate got so unbelievably high. She suddenly burst out with “omg I have the funniest story to tell you” and started rambling strings of words that made no sense.
Neither of us can remember exactly what she was saying but we think it was just the same three words repeated over and over. Even so, we found this fake story so funny we both laughed so hard, fell over and wet ourselves. The semi-sober guy told us to go to bed then got a taxi and left.
*Some names have been changed
Featured image credit: Netflix