We asked McDonald’s workers what your Maccies order says about you

Only really fit boys order the BBQ chicken wrap appaz

You know how they say “a picture speaks a thousand words?” Well a Maccies order speaks a whole personality. Literally, it spews out all the code that makes up the very fibre of your being. It’s the best gauge of a person there is, and the Maccies workers who have served you in the past probably know you better than any therapist you have ever had or ever will have. They see into your soul. They know about that thing you stole from the corner shop in year 8. They know you kinda fancied your cousin when you were 11. They just know.

Seriously though, your Maccies order does give a pretty good sizing of your personality – and we spoke to two very perceptive McDonald’s staff members to ask them what your Maccies order really says about you. Get ready to feel well and truly attacked. I will never be able to shamelessly order six chicken nuggets again.

Veggie burger

“Veggie burger orderer is an incredibly polite woman customer, she doesn’t really come here often so asks ‘what drinks do you do’, and she doesn’t know about the value-meal system so instead of saying ‘as a meal0’, she will ask for the burger, chips, and drink separately. She’s usually 30+, and comes through drive through with a cute dog – probably a spaniel of some sort.” – Rosie

Filet O’ Fish

“You are disgusting. Why would any human subject themselves to ingesting one of these voluntarily.” – Harry

Wrap of the day

“You love a bargain. Probably ask your mates to transfer you that £1.79 they owe you.” – Harry

Big Mac

“Really messy person, neglects doing the washing up for as long as possible.” – Harry

“Big Mac typically comes in a large meal, ordered with a shake of some sort. The customer arrived here in a work van, and is wearing a fluorescent vest. He wants a tomato ketchup dip, pays in cash, and calls you ‘love’.” – Rosie

Veggie wrap

“Ordered by someone slightly younger than the typical veggie burger customer, and they are more certain about what they want. They’re wearing an oversized jacket, and chunky trainers. They will get a Fanta or Diet Coke to go with it, maybe even some cheese bites on the side.” – Rosie

Iced coffee

“Drama queen, doesn’t get enough sleep.” – Harry

Chicken nuggets

“Six nuggets? A bit childish, probably spends too much time on Twitter. Nine nuggets? You don’t understand how the menu works. 20 nuggets? Confident kings rise up. We all know you aren’t sharing them and you’re brave enough to own it.” – Harry

“Chicken nuggets are ordered by giggly girls who are wearing skinny jeans and Air Force 1s, they have false nails and might get a flurry, too – probably the promo one. They’ll ask for sweet and sour dip for their nuggets, and either a Diet Coke or a frappe.” – Rosie

Double cheeseburger

“Plain double cheese burger customers will be wearing joggers if they’re a boy, and most likely have some sort of facial hair. However, they won’t just order one – it’ll always be at least two. Sometimes they’ll forget to say plain, and instead of just taking the onion and pickle out, they will 100 per cent ask you for a new one. Female plain double cheese burger customers have a similar vibe to the chicken nugget girls, except they will get an Oasis and tend to be a bit less chirpy.” – Rosie

BBQ chicken and bacon wrap

“The bbq chicken and bacon wraps are ordered by FIT boys. They are usually really polite too, and wearing some kind of sports gear. HOWEVER, the dark side to this customer type is the ones that ask for the wrap with alterations, they will be less smiley and most likely leave their rubbish all over their table.” – Rosie

Chicken sandwich

“Chicken sandwich customers are usually mums taking their kids out for a treat, so of course, they order two Happy Meals and a coffee alongside. Will pay with a 20 from their Cath Kidston purse, and have a navy and white striped top on, with jeans and brown leather boots. Naturally pretty, drives a Nissan.” – Rosie

“Not the most adventurous person, probably goes on the same holiday to Cornwall every year.” – Harry

Chicken Selects

“People who order Selects vary depending on the dip that they get to accompany their chicken strips: Smokey BBQ – probably a boy, projects drug dealer vibes, but nice nonetheless. Oasis to wash it down. Sour cream and chive – intellectuals. Very polite, pay with Apple Pay, clear about what they want. They might even ask for one sour cream and one sweet chilli, in which case they are actually the best customer you’ll ever get. They’ll say ‘have a nice day’ to you, and thank you at any given opportunity.

Sweet chilli – I’ve already outlined my love for sweet chilli and sour cream and chive medley customers, however there is a thin line. Customers that order two sweet chilli dips are very rare, and in all honesty have the tendency to be a bit weird. They’ll avoid making eye contact, and ask for a sprite.” – Rosie

Chicken Mayo

“Chicken Mayo customers are either teenagers still in their school uniform, or skater types. Both will order with a Coke, but the teenagers will eat in while the skater types will take away. Teenagers may occasionally order theirs plain, which really pains me to put through my till.” – Rosie

Big Tasty

“Big Tasty customers are boys that give off massive gym vibes. Muscly arms, lots of tattoos, probably wearing a hat. Drives a BMW and will come in with at least one friend; probably a BBQ chicken and bacon boy.” – Rosie

Apple pies

“Apple pies are only ordered by sweet elderly people, probably with a coffee. The joy of serving them comes close to that of serving the five Selects with chilli and sour cream and chive dip customers. They will call you ‘dear’, make small talk, and have two milks for their tea.” – Rosie

Chicken Legend

“You have excellent taste, willing to bet your exes are all really fit.” – Harry

“Chicken Legend customers are really nice, and will no doubt crack a joke while placing their order. That is of course, if they order it with cool mayo. Spicy mayo, BBQ, or plain means that they WILL find something to complain about, all in the name of a compensatory McFlurry.” – Rosie

Snack wraps

“Snack wrap customers are girls that have come through the drive thru with their boyfriend and as soon as they arrive at the window he will say ‘can I get two separate orders’. She’ll get a Diet Coke with her wrap, and neither of them will speak to each other the whole time. He will probably be a plain double customer.” – Rosie

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