Tell us your quarantine routine and we’ll tell you how much of a detty pig you are

A few days ago, someone on Twitter posted their full “quarantine routine”, hour by hour. It included things like meditating, reading, writing in a journal and studying. Realistically, this is bullshit, and we are all actually just stewing in our own filth and getting more stir crazy by the moment. We’re horny as fuck and wanking to pass the time. We’ve been wearing the same jumper for three days.

But some people out there – some crazy, regimented, well-put-together people – are actually dealing with quarantine quite well. They’re putting in the precautions to keep fit, stay sane and have a fairly nice time. They’re the type of people who are using quarantine for “wellness” and working on their positive mental state. But most of us are detty pigs and that’s just facts. If you don’t know which you are, and you really need a quiz to tell you – or you are genuinely just looking to spend five minutes in something other than total boredom – look no further, because I’m about to do just that.