How to get over a breakup, from girls to girls
Just get him out of your life ASAP
Breakups can be pretty shit. Whether it's a simple and amicable breakup, a pre-uni breakup, or an angry rip up all of his stuff and tell his mum he's a fuckboy kinda breakup – ending a relationship with anyone isn't exactly nice. But how do you get over a breakup? Is there a way to deal with someone that's completely fucked you over? How long is it before you should be over a breakup? How do you COPE?
We asked girls from up and down the country for their advice about dealing with breakups – here are their answers.
Stop texting, stop calling and start afresh
I left a three year relationship that was on and off for six months after I realised no matter how much we loved each other we couldn’t make each other happy anymore.
The hardest thing was losing that constant communication. I felt so disconnected from parts of myself that were him. I’d grown so used to a constant togetherness, an inseparable part of my life. I couldn’t adjust to losing that, so we kept talking.
But once we decided it was best to just be exes, stop talking completely, and start afresh; I felt a lot better. It’s hard at first. But stop texting, stop calling. Don’t check that girl you were always worried might be a little more than a friend’s Instagram profile. Dealing with a break up is an active thing. It’s not checking your phone to see if they’ve called or watched your Insta story. It’s reminding yourself you’ve done this to make yourself and them happy in the long term. It’s about making yourself present and stopping your thoughts drifting to them.
So keep going, keep working through it. One day you’ll find yourself in tears of laughter among friends, or you’ll get to the end of a long night and realise you haven’t thought of them or felt pain once. It’ll come. – Mollie, 20.
Get rid of their stuff
Bin it all. His old t-shirt, no matter how comfortable, is no longer yours to sleep in. So bin it, burn it, do whatever you want – but having that stuff lying around your room is a constant reminder of the good times and of him. So destroy. – Georgia, 23.
Realise it's for the best, and speak to your friends
I was seeing my ex for quite a long time before I started realising it wasn’t working out. Long story short we broke up, and at the time I was devastated.
But I think the biggest thing for me was the realisation it was exactly what I needed. I was in a relationship that didn’t make me happy, so breaking up was the best option at the time. That mindset comes quite easily with time and a bit of hindsight, but it was a great realisation.
I spoke a lot to people close around me, and was open about how I was feeling which made me feel so much better and like I wasn’t crazy for mourning a relationship I wasn’t even happy in. I’m so much happier now and with someone that is a whole lot better for me. – Holly, 21.
Get him out of your life
We were dating for about a year and half long distance before he broke up with me, then a few months later came to study at my uni. I was so upset and he dicked me around quite a lot that I ripped up all the photos of us I had and burnt them in my garden in an ashtray whilst sobbing profusely.
Was definitely a bit crazy but so cathartic and a really physical way of just getting him the fuck out of my life. I also blocked him from all social media so I wasn’t tempted to stalk him and see what he was up to. – Amelia, 20.
Have a night out with your girls
Get your groove on and look your best. Buy yourself that new top, have a self love day and go all out. Rally your girls around you and you’ll have a cracking ladies night. By the morning you won’t even remember your ex’s name. – Emma, 19.
Delete him, and don't look back
We dated for about 18 months but I knew deep down he just was not good for me. He was a few years older, lazy and he just got a bit dull to be honest.
I came to uni and he asked to come and see me within a few days. I simply text back “it’s done now, we won’t see each other again and we both know that’s for the best” and that was that. I deleted him on all social media so I didn’t have to see anything and I’ve never looked back. – Grace , 21