We’ve figured out exactly where the North is by plotting every single Greggs store on a map

If you’re from Sheffield or Nottingham look away now

The north/south divide is the debate that defines our nation. Is the north just everything above Oxford? What about Nottingham and Leicester? They talk funny in Birmingham, so they must be northern right?

We need to find a way to solve this national identity crisis once and for all. We need a single, unifying thing that makes it easy to identify the north, one that brings them all together, resplendent in their northernness.

Obviously, this thing is Greggs.

Our conclusive north/south divide

We plotted the location of all 1,823 Greggs on a map of the UK to construct our very own Hadrian’s Wall, made entirely out of £1 sausage rolls.

Typically, you would expect the North to have way more Greggs, and we found, unsurprisingly, the more South you go the less Greggs there are.

Less than 25,000 people per Greggs is the benchmark to distinguish whether you live in the north. Any more than that and you can expect queues every time you fancy a steak bake, a wholly unacceptable concept to any true northerner.

Therefore, we can now re-draw this dividing line, based on which towns and cities have less or more than 25,000 per Greggs – finally giving us statistical evidence on the north/south divide.

The fine people of Nottingham will surely be ecstatic to discover that the insane amount of Greggs they consume means they are truly northerners.

On the other hand, Sheffield and Coventry have now been revoked of their northern status. Their lack of love for Greggs stores makes them no more northern than your aunt and uncle who live in the arse-end of Surrey.

Many major northern towns assert their northernness by having high Greggs per capita ratios. Manchester clocks in with one Greggs for every 10,500 people, followed by Glasgow with one per every 11,000. 14,000 people from Edinburgh have to share the same store, while it’s one for every 22,000 in Leeds.

The contrast to major southern towns is massive. In Southampton, there is one for every 32,000, while there’s a solitary Greggs per every 69,000 Brighton locals. Londoners are a bunch of sausage, bean and cheese melts, having to compete with 92,500 others for their morning sausage roll.

And if you are now craving a sausage roll, here are all 1,823 Greggs stores in the UK.

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