Why does everyone on Made In Chelsea have such massive collars?

Something’s wrong in Chelsea.

No, it’s not that all the dinner parties are being ruined by the furious shitshow that is Frankie and Jamie’s relationship. Nor is it that Harry Baron is strutting around trying to be Spencer Matthews but ending up looking more like a lascivious ferret to his proud, shagging ox.

Nope, this is about fashion. Collars, to be exact. Yes, a plague of oversized and inconvenient collars has befallen West London, and not a single MIC stalwart is safe.

It never used to be like this. Spenny and Mytton have had their fair share of overgarment disasters in the past, just like Proudlock and Boullé are known for their out-there sartorial decisions.

But never before have the men of SW1 been so dwarfed by their hoods and their ruffs, like posh bobbleheads you’d fix to the dashboard of your Bentley.

It all started with aviator jackets worn by the likes of Jamie and JP. Those enormous sheepskin lapels must have given them a taste of old-fashioned masculinity, a type of fluffy fortitude even JP’s trademark turtlenecks never quite provided.

Since they first started rocking them two or three seasons ago, the boys just haven’t looked back.

And the girls are just as bad. When was did you last see Liv Bentley not sporting an enormous furry hood? Can you remember the last time Frankie Gaff appeared without at least half of her visage obscured by needless fabric?

The lapels and hoods and collars of Chelsea are growing, and soon there’ll be no space left to see their beautiful faces.

Perhaps it’s something in the water under Putney Bridge. Perhaps there’s a chill going round Belgravia which is especially aggressive towards the neck area.

Or perhaps, just maybe, the men (and women) of the Made In Chelsea cast are caught in a constant and unhealthy spiral of peacocking, a reality TV nightmare in which they all try to outweigh each others’ coats until someone inevitably breaks their collarbone.

Is that the future you want?