Legs-it! Who won the battle of the pins between these two dashing politicians?
Forget the EU Referendum, these shapely shanks are the only thing we want to vote on
Politics. It’s all a load of bullshit, isn’t it? Brexit, Article 50, IndyRef 2.0 – who cares about all that when politicians have legs, lovely legs, which they sometimes get out for everyone to see!
Take, for example, this racy picture. David Cameron and George Osborne have gone for a little cycle around Hyde Park, wearing nothing but the latest athleisure with their sturdy pins on show.
What could they have been talking about: triggering the EU Referendum? “Swarms” of migrants coming across the Channel? The Bullingdon Club?
Really, who cares! They’ve both got legs, and we want to know whose legs are better. That’s what politics is all about.
David’s lovely legs
Florals for Spring? Groundbreaking! David stuns in a pair of tiny shorts which ride up his supple white thighs, showing off what is clearly a good pair of well-exercised, well-shaven quads.
Teamed with a pair of brown leather suit shoes (worn sockless and sweaty), Cameron straddles the bike like a pro. Forget his moneyed background and the fact he’s a white man – it looks like David’s two best assets are actually his comely calves!
George’s lovely legs
The finest weapon at George’s command? Those legs! Teaming the Nike Janoskis of a much younger man with a pair of fetching mid-calf sports socks, George looks like he’s no stranger to a jaunt around the park.
Parading his pins in gear more suited for Tony Hawk than the Chancellor of the Exchequer, the message Osborne is trying to convey is clear: I’m young, I’m fun, and I want to tear up disability benefits with the same speed I tear up this cycle path.
While Dave has gone for a more demure look, George just about clinches it with his daring ensemble and milky-white complexion.
But the real winner here? Journalism, of course!
No, we’re not making it up. Yes, this is the way female politicians are still talked about by the Daily Mail in 2017.
Pretty fucking stupid, isn’t it?