The end is nigh, Mel and Sue won’t be presenting GBBO anymore

Goodnight sweet princesses

The world as we know it is changing irrevocably.

The BBC have lost the contract to Great British Bake Off, and with it the show has lost Mel and Sue. Mel and Sue won’t be going to Channel 4.

Back when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

Mel and Sue will not be there any longer to make awful sexual puns about soggy bottoms and firm biscuits. Mel and Sue won’t be there to pat a dishevelled baker on the back while the baker says “I can’t believe I”m crying over cake!” and Mel and/or Sue say “That’s OK my lovely”. There will be no more of these sweet moments, and we’re all the worse off for it.

We speculated things wouldn’t be the same and now we know for sure. After being the pillars of twee British goodness as hosts of the show since 2010, the pair issued a collective heartbreaking statement which said: “We were very shocked and saddened to learn yesterday evening that Bake Off will be moving from its home.

“We made no secret of our desire for the show to remain where it was.”

It feels like the summer ending in the worst way. It feels like when Spencer left MIC. It feels like John Hannah reading that sad Auden poem in Four Weddings and a Funeral and you crying in bed, eating your shitty, soggy, shop bought biscuits, lamenting the loss of the best this fucking country had to offer.

It didn’t have to be like this. Why.