Your Durham college, your supermarket staple

Durham is, rightfully, renowned for many things – the cathedral, the WeAr, the academia – though, unfortunately, its supermarkets are not one of them, at least in the city centre. Having done most of my second-year food shops in Gilesgate Sainsbury’s, the odd evening trip to Dragonville’s ‘Big Tesco’ is, I think, one of life’s simple pleasures as a Durham student (let’s face it, there’s not a lot else to do here).

For those of you still opting for Market Place Tesco, though (a classic choice), here is a list of supermarket staples that I hope you can relate to on your next food shop, entirely college-dependent. Based on vibes, and vibes alone.

Collingwood: Weetabix

Collingwood speaks of excellence, especially of an extracurricular kind. It just gives Weetabix vibes, which has been considered, after all, as the ‘breakfast of champions’ (that’s you, Collingwood x)

Castle: Collin the Caterpillar

Castle is the college equivalent of THAT girl, so, naturally, I’ve matched it with the IT Girl of supermarket staples, none other than Collin the Caterpillar. Some names hold a certain level of prestige. Looks, though, can be deceiving – the emptiness of Collin’s gaze has been replicated by many a Castle Fresher upon finding out that they may not, in fact, be living in the castle itself. Yikes.

Grey: Earl Grey Tea

This one might be slightly too on the nose but given the oft-cited pun ‘Grey by name, Grey by nature,’ this just felt on-brand. On the more understated side, Earl Grey tea reflects the quietly confident presence of Grey on the Hill – you might not notice it, but it’s there all the same (or so I’m told).

Van Mildert: Bisto Beef Gravy Granules

In my first year, I got lost trying to navigate Mildert’s pond (it’s not that difficult, I know) and have not returned to this college since. I’m not sure how the ducks would feel about swimming in gravy, but I’m going with Bisto Beef Gravy Granules for Mildert’s supermarket staple. It just gives that pond aesthetic. Right?

Hatfield: Marmite

Historically divisive, Hatfield is the Marmite of Durham’s collegiate system: a staple for some and yet shunned by others. Whether you love it, or you hate it, college and condiment alike are sure to inspire strong opinion. Just don’t ask for mine x

John Snow: Walker’s Ready Salted Crisps

You can’t really go wrong with Walker’s Ready Salted – they’re kind of timeless, as much as crisp flavours can be, if not a little basic. John Snow is much the same – a solid choice, though it doesn’t really stick out to me. (Bonus points though because their college drink, the Snow Job, might just be my favourite.)

Josephine Butler: Iced Gems

When I think Butler, I think mound, so, naturally, when I think supermarket staple, I think iced gem. It’s the obvious choice. Conveniently ‘mound-shaped,’ the iced gem offers a taste of Butler (quite literally) via this pocket-sized staple, which has been rumoured to bring a tear to the eye of the unsuspecting Butler alum.

There really is no escaping that mole!

South: Jaffa Cakes

Is it a cake? Is it a biscuit? The Jaffa Cake can’t seem to decide and, arguably, neither can South. There’s something very ‘un-Durham’ about the newest addition to the collegiate system, at least architecturally – as a college it seems to straddle the boundaries of old and new, the traditional and the modern.

It seems to me to resemble more-so the vibe of universities like Manchester or Cardiff, so seeing people in gowns there is a bit of a jump-scare. (And FYI: It’s a cake. Duh.)

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St. Aidan’s: Skittles

Known as the ‘Rainbow College,’ could Aidan’s supermarket staple be anything but skittles? An ecosystem of reds, greens, yellows, purples, and oranges, skittles offers something for everyone and, renowned for its inclusivity, so does Aidan’s. No complaints, other than the stairs x

St. Chad’s: Chocolate Orange

The Durham ‘Bubble’ means that, unfortunately, discretion is hard to come by. My business is your business, and yours is mine – it’s just how it is. Such is only magnified within Chad’s, the smallest of Durham’s colleges, symbolised, I think, incredibly well by the Terry’s Chocolate Orange.

The segments are entwined, each meeting at the centre point and, though it seems structurally sound, the orange is quick to crumble, kind of like Chad’s on a Thursday morning. Imagine ‘Hangxiety’ multiplied by ten. Yeah. Awks.

 St. Cuth’s: Heinz Beans, Cheesy Ed.

I hope that the Heinz Beans (Cheesy Edition) resonates with those of you in Prison Cuth’s – you’ve gone for a classic but not quite hit the mark. Sorry about that. It’s giving expectation versus reality. Good, not great.

St. Hild and Bede: Hula Hoops

I’m not sure where I got this one from. I was thinking about the circumferential nature of Hild Bede’s placement and landed on Hula Hoops – it’s fun, it’s fresh, it’s Hild Bede.

St. John’s: Crumpets

It’s a classic choice for a classic college. Yum! It’s a traditional choice fit for a Bailey college, yet humble enough to warrant a breakfast item (mostly) loved by all.

St. Mary’s: Candy Kittens

Being my first glimpse of Durham’s collegiate system, Mary’s did not disappoint. Objectively, it’s gorgeous and, much like Candy Kittens, it just has that undeniable ‘WOW Factor’ – try enjoying a bag of these under the cherry blossoms, you won’t be disappointed.

Stevo: Pot Noodle

Having been self-catered for my first year in Durham, I fully recognise the appeal of the pot noodle. Stevo, this one’s for you.

Trevs: Smarties

Apologies for being basic but, known for its distinctly hexagonal packaging, is anyone surprised? Smarties is Trevs all over. It just has an undeniable sense of whimsy, and I’m here for it x

Ustinov: Cathedral City Mature Cheddar

I’ve never actually met anyone from Ustinov, nor have I been there, but I’m guessing you’re mature. Almost as mature as this cheese, perhaps.

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